[Wintersbloom]

Thank you for any advice you have regarding this post.

As the title implies I am feeling somewhat jealous after my hubby admitted to me that he has never given up a relationship he has with an ex...fling.

They began talking online and have met for a few weekend romances over the years. She began seeing him while she was married and since has seen him while in other relationships. She has passed on opportunities to be in real relationship with him, though she keeps dangling that possilbity in front of his nose.

While we dated, I knew he was messaging this woman & it didn't really bother me. I am not a jealous woman, we made a deal. If it ever began to bother me or come between us. He would stop. That happened before we married and he promised to stop.

Come to find out he did not stop. He has been keeping in touch with her online mostly. They have discussed meeting and she has done/said all she can to dis our relationship and me. He became very cold and distant to me. Began saying everything I said was "nagging" and snapped at me for just asking him "How are you doing”. He would say..."what do you want NOW". Laughs. I was not home very much at that time...student & work...just asking him to spend a few mins of his free time with me was "nagging".


I apologies for the length of this message.plz bear with me.

NOW, I find myself doing all of the horrible things I swore I would never do. I've read his email, installed a key logger, I question his actions. I've never been cheated on before, this emotional relationship he has with this other woman, is so painful to me. If he had an anonymous affair, I am not sure if it would hurt this much. As far as I know, they have not gotten together since we've been together, but she is not happy that her "fling" is now married. She has offered to meet him anytime anywhere. She comments about how my wishes for him to stop talking to her ...denote my insecurity.

It's horrible. I want to be able to trust. I don't want to get hurt again. How do I avoid falling into such a jealous trap that I ruin what is left of our relationship by smothering him. ?????

HELP!