[kjo314]

Guys and Gals,

G/f (long distance) broke up with me because she needed to be aloen and said she didn't know what she wanted anymore. She said that we had fundamental differences. etc....


I have realized through my self reflection on the relationship that I had become too clingy and tried to take care of her too much and that isn't what she wanted. She wanted to be able to take care of herself. I realize this now. IT didn't mean she didn't love me it is just that she wanted to be independant and I wasn't allowing her to be.

I finally realized that this was due to my own self-esteem and trust issues. I have since worked those issues out. I know she still loves me because she said she did on the phone and there is still hope for us. I realize now how she needs and wants to be loved and I know I can do it.

I want to let her know about this information and tell her about this. I don't know how and when is the right time to do it?? We broke up a month ago and I realized it like last week and I know that this is what happened. The fundamental differences are that I wanted to take care of her completely and she wanted to do things her own way and I thought she was leaving me when in fact she was just establishing herself and I was stressing her out.

I don't know how to share this info to her (letter, e-mail, telephone) and I don't know when is the right time to do it. I know she still loves me but she might not if I wait around for it. Or she might move on. But yet if I send it too early then she will think I am violating her space. I know that there are no other guys involved in this....

Please HELP!!!

[CaliGuy]

You really can't 'tell' her, you have to show her. If you get a chance to hang out sometime that will be your chance to shine. You can talk till you're blue in the face and it won't make a difference. You really have to show her by your actions, not your words.

Don't bug her. If she really loves you, she'll come to you. Give her time and space to sort things out. If you really love her then you must also be willing to let her go.

Ex's always come back to you when you're finally over them. That's at least how it seems to be in many cases. So, truly let go of her. Once you are not bugging her, clinging to her or otherwise craving her attention then she'll start to wonder.

If it's meant to be it will happen. If not, you'll be stronger for the next relationship having learned a valuable lesson.

[ciara12step]

NC, no contact what so ever, unless she contacts u .

[kjo314]

So her friend called me and told me that she still loves me but she wants to be alone and that she doesn't want a realtionship with anyone right now.

She said that she "wants us to work out but doesn't think we will because she thinks I will be happier with someone else"

[ciara12step]

NC is the only way ..


i cant even do it myself .. lets be both strong ! and stay busy ! .. they'll eventually miss us one day ..