[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

My best friend's husband's brother "Bob"...is an alcoholic. I dated him a few times recently and heeded my friend's warnings and got out. I also got out for my own reasons.

"Bob" thinks I dumped him because of my friend and she wants me to clear the air with him but I'm really not in contact with him, except once in a while emails.

Bob and his wife split last summer, they have two kids. He was verbally abusive to her and I have heard unconfirmed stories that he abused his kids physically.

Last week he went to an afternoon cocktail party, picked up his kids, went out for dinner and was too drunk to sign the bill. He left the restaurant and got lost trying to find his house (with the kids in the car). The kids called their mom on a cell phone and he made up every excuse in the book.

Well, the restaurant called the cops on him, and they met him at his house and now he has a record. He is at risk of losing all visitation with his kids. From dating him I know he needs to see his kids ...but this is his need, not theirs right now.

I heard from my friend that Bob's friend took him to an AA meeting. I wonder how long this will last. My friend and her husband don't seem to want to get involved. They don't think Bob will listen to them...and she admitted she is afraid he will go psycho one day and come after her.

Yet, they enjoy the fruits of his labours...attend his parties, drink at his parties, play with his toys (ie snowmobiles, boats, etc) and had the gall to accuse me of only being after his money.

I told her he needs help and is not going to get it himself. She said well YOU help him then ... and I just rolled my eyes and said he needs his family and friends to intervene.

Is there anything I can do? He constantly tells her that he misses me and thinks when my schedule clears that I will want to date him again. He is usually drunk when he says this, not always though.

She has been my best friend for 30 years, so it's not like I can just pretend this guy doesn't exist. I can say I don't want to be involved, but I will hear all the gossip from her anyway. I have told her I don't wish to hear it because I do care about him but she tells me all the stuff his exwife says.

[caring guy]

It's not all about what materialistic stuff they enjoy, this guy drinks & drives with kids in the car! & how old is he! You have nothing to worry about, your conscience is clear!
Jeez, i drink too much too, i have a drink prob, but i never, no matter how much i drink can get in a car, even 2 beers! I know by all the news that is here the lives that are ruined & damaged by this!
He's either stupid, or doesn't care!
I've had ultimatums & taken them, you do the same! Drink or me! If he is 100% alco, he will relapse, as i have done!
His family should help him, pull him to one side & tell him whats what!
But if you like him as you say you do, do the same!
Huggs
CG