[bluebubbles]

I have dating the same guy for 2 ½ years. I am 24 and he is 25. We both live at home with our parents. I go to work and go to school. He has had a job only for the past year. Before that he hasn’t worked in 2 years. I pay all my bills and half the rent and utilities and food. He doesn’t pay for anything at his house. His mom pays for everything.
When we go out, I pay half, always. We live 1 hour away and on weekends, I go to his house. I always drive back and forth beacuse he doesn't like to drive, and so far this year he has only driven to my house 8 times.
I do love him, but he is a spoiled brat that has everything handed to him. I had to struggle to get what I have. Now, he is talking about moving in together. He wants to find a place together but he wants me to pick everything out so he doesn’t have to do anything.
Does anyone have any experience with this. I am not sure I want to keep this up. I am at the end of my rope. I don’t think it should be up to me to finish raising this guy. What do I do? Will it get better or worse?

[Outcast]

Unless you really want to be 'mommy' to this guy, drop him and find a grownup. He won't change so if you agree to take him on, you're walking into a guaranteed train wreck and you will be miserable.

[bluechocolate]

Has it got better in the 2 1/2 years that you've been dating?

If anything, it'll get worse 'cause Mommy won't be there to do all the stuff she's currently doing for him.

You know what you have to do.

[bluebubbles]

It has gotten a little better in the past year. He has a job at the family business. His mother still pays for everything.
The real issue I am having is, on weekends he likes for me to stay at his house over night. But it is his mother’s house. It is really making me feel uncomfortable. She is there in the next room. I have spent two years doing this, I will not spend another year going on like this. Am I being silly?

[Outcast]

It doesn't matter if he has a job. If he refuses to pay expenses and doesn't lift a finger to clean up after himself or do anything other than sit and be babied, he'll be a nightmare as a living partner.

[SmoochieFace]

All *good* relationships are partnerships. Couples should strive for 50/50... 60/40 is fine as well as some people are by nature *stronger* or *weaker* than others.

This situation sounds like 95/5... definitely poor effort on his part.

[bluechocolate]

The real issue I am having is, on weekends he likes for me to stay at his house over night.

It sounds to me like there are more issues than just that.

I always drive back and forth beacuse he doesn't like to drive, and so far this year he has only driven to my house 8 times.

Assuming that you've been visting every weekend that means you've driven to him 44 times this year! And all because he "doesn't like to drive"?

Am I being silly?

If anything you've been silly for letting it go on this long.

I am at the end of my rope.

And not getting any younger.

...but he is a spoiled brat that has everything handed to him

and probably has for his entire life.

You can try to change him but I'm highly doubtful that you would be successful.