[notmakingsense]

Well, its nearing 2 weeks of no-contact now... I wrote her a break-up note last week, because she wasn't returning calls or notes. You can read all my older posts... I've been in love with this woman for 2 years now, and we've been off and on because she hasn't been sure I'm the one for her. All through that, I've been the doormat, waiting for her and trying hard to make things work.

It is just amazing to me just how much in love I am with someone who doesnt respect me. I probably made all the classic mistakes of putting her on a pedestal and appearing needy. Too much emphasis on the happiness in my life coming from the successful relationship with her.

It didn't help that she's drop-dead gorgeous, smart, funny, fun, and can command the attention of any man she wants. The jealousy that would creep up upon me in our times of being apart served to only make me want her more...

When it comes down to it, I am wrestling with the knowledge that if she was truly in love with me, keeping her affections would never have been an issue. Now I have to avoid the poisonous thinking that my loss of her is a life failure. Somehow, I need to fight off the feeling that I'm unworthy of such an amazing woman... (Ooops -- there's that damned pedestal again!)

Well, she did return to me over these two years... and although I was merely a backup-guy, I guess that meant that I wasn't chopped-liver either. Right? Despite her issues, she's genuine and honest, and at the height of our good times -- I really believed that she loved me as she said she did.

As you can tell -- I'm just venting... trying to cope with the fact that I'll be without anyone for the holiday season. Not much else going on either, just me being left alone with my own thoughts, and hoping that not too many of those thoughts will be about her -- and what she may or may not be doing over the holidays...

[In Sync]

You know what, at first I had a little sympathy for you, but then I decided what for? You seemed to have desired her because of her drop dead gorgeous looks..so in effect you were into her because she was a trophy piece for you. And now this woman who you claim, can "claim the attention of any man she wants" doesn't see you like a prize. Hmmm, there's your lesson idol worshipper. You were using her as much as she was using you.
Realize and ask yourself why did you hang in there for two years? Because it wasn't love...
Stop feeling sorry for yourself consider yourself lucky that you were with the gorgeous woman, you had your time with her and move on. Let's face it the relationship was probably more stressful because you were afraid of losing the status symbol and your association with her. Kick her off that damn pedestal, climb up there and see how it feels! Happy Holidays!

[notmakingsense]

Originally Posted by In Sync

You know what, at first I had a little sympathy for you, but then I decided what for? You seemed to have desired her because of her drop dead gorgeous looks..so in effect you were into her because she was a trophy piece for you. And now this woman who you claim, can "claim the attention of any man she wants" doesn't see you like a prize. Hmmm, there's your lesson idol worshipper. You were using her as much as she was using you.
Realize and ask yourself why did you hang in there for two years? Because it wasn't love...
Stop feeling sorry for yourself consider yourself lucky that you were with the gorgeous woman, you had your time with her and move on. Let's face it the relationship was probably more stressful because you were afraid of losing the status symbol and your association with her. Kick her off that damn pedestal, climb up there and see how it feels! Happy Holidays!

That hurt In Sync!

But, you have a point, sort-of.

I'm quite confident that friendship and love was the basis of this relationship (rather than the superficial). We were together for a long time as friends before it progressed. However, I, like many men, am highly influenced by looks and physical chemistry. I've been around the block enough to know that you can't have a successful relationship based upon this alone -- but I am honest enough with myself to admit that dwelling on that makes the break-up harder for me.

To put all of this another way... when I think of my failure, I'm not thinking of her looks -- I'm thinking about the pure joy we had when we were together -- but thinking about her looks and the chemistry does make this more painful.