Were do I start? I will try to keep it short.

My husband and I have been Married for five years. We have two little girls (3 and almost 5). We have known each other since grade school. I was never interested in him at all. After two years of college we met again in our home town. I was back for summer break and he was trying to decide what to do with his life. We got together and I ended up getting pregnant three months later, we got married, etc.

I thought I loved him at the time. Things went well until after the first baby was born. He became very demanding and hard to please in any way. He would make a list for me every morning and expect it to be completed when he got home from work. If it wasn't done or if it wasn't done exactly as he wanted it done it was a huge blow up! The lists persisted and grew. Now I'm to the point were my days are so full I have to schedule play time (30 min)with my girls. He schedules discussions were he fills me with guilt in order to get what he wants!

Recently I confessed to him how unhappy I am and that I am not in love with him. Lots of fights and discussions and blaming and denying eventually led us to our pastor who basically told my husband that he needs to lay off me and be my friend and lover, not my boss or the whip cracker. He vows to change and he's scared to death he's going to loose me. I think he's sincere.

The problem is, I don't love him and I'm not so sure I want things to work out. He's put me through so much crap! And the plot thickens. Through this whole mess I have grown very close to another man. I am in love with him and I'm sure he feels the same way. We have never discussed it though. I think about him all the time. And the only time I'm happy is when I'm with him or my husband is at work.

And, to thicken things just a little bit more -- My husband doesn't like my friendship with the "other man" and forbids me to see him. He said that I "light up when He's around" and that bothers him!

So, if you're not completely confused right now and have some input, I would greatly appreciate it. I know what my heart wants to do, but my mind tells me to be responsible and stay and try to work it out for my little girls. What would you do?

Your husband is very manipulative. I would go with the other man. If i am happy, i would make my kids' lives happier. They will be very much affected by your fights and unloving relationship.

-Richie