[solsystem]

I am getting upset because a short while ago I made the mental decision that I need to break up with my GF. We hav ebeen dating for 2 years and we live together, this is my first serious and physical relatiosnhip. This has been the hardest decision of my life -- I decided it would be best to tell her after finals are done.

This week has been emotional torture! I dont know if she senses whats going on -- but all of a sudden, shes telling me she loves me a million times during the day, hugging me way more than what she used to do, is saying im the best, left notes for me that she hadnt done since the very beginning of our relationship -- this is not the only thing that messes me up in the head....why is this happening!!!!?? what do i do?????????? its making me feel so sad and terrible

[JaneInVegas]

Yep, she's sensing the change in you, even though you probably think you're acting 'normal'. Women are much more in tune with emotions than men give us credit for.

If you're sure you need to break up (you didn't mention why) you're going to have to bite the bullet ... gently ... and be as honest as possible. We women absolutely hate it when a guy says they're breaking up with us 'just cuz', or come up with really lame excuses. If the truth hurts, tell it anyway.

Sometimes it hurts just as much to let someone go as it does to be let go. Good luck.

[CaliGuy]

Women are good at that, they can sense they might be losing a partner. You know, that's what keeps them hooked. The challenge of getting a prized man is one thing, the challenge of keeping him, another.

Why do you want to break up?

[Devils Advocate]

She knows somethings up and is trying to put her best foot forward and cut you off before you do something she doesn't want.

No it's not going to last, she'll keep it up long enough to reel you back in and give you hope and then it's back to business as usual.

You know need to decide, are you gonna keep your plan to dump her or take enjoy the improved behaviour for as long as it lasts and then dump her. It's up to you as long as you go into it with your eye's open.

[solsystem]

Here is my lengthy post from the past:

Greetings to everyone! I am 23 and have been dating my girlfriend for just over 2 years, and we live together, this is my first serious relationship. We have been thinking about the future more and more -- and the more I think, the more I realize there are differences that might be problems. We try to work everything out, which is great! One of the main issues is that I have an autistic brother, who will not be able to live on his own. (He is now 25). I am incredibly close to him, in addition to the rest of my family. My girlfriend, in the past, made me feel incredibly tense for being close to my family. Her family has divorce all over -- and I have never given her a problem about that, why should I?

She loves to travel -- and desires to live abroad. She has studied abroad, and of the 2 years we have been together, she has studied a total of 7 months abroad. I believe that no one should give up what they want to do for someone else, and there was not one second I felt she shouldn't go. This is why I have been upset over why I've been made to feel bad for wanting to be with my family -- even for just a few days! We both want to be with our families on Christmas Day, and I totally understand and want to be with her on that day. She can't understand why I am OK with her being with her family and me with mine -- but not together. She says she has improved, and gotten better at understanding, and has even felt closer to my family -- but it is hard to believe that given the past 2 years have been the opposite.

These emotions make me think about how my brother needs to be taken care of (my parents won't be able to one day), and she does not deserve this kind of stress. I expressed this to her -- and she has even suggested that he could come live with us. And that's wonderful! But it would be prevent her from accomplishing her dream of living/working abroad. Too many people have made the mistake of making such a sacrifice.

So I have been feeling black and white a lot. I tend to have a goofy sense of humor, which she has always had difficulty appreciating, and understanding. I feel I am not my true 100% self around her -- I have felt much more comfortable around other people. I feel she can relate more to other people, and so can I, even though we have tons in common!

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Sorry if thats lengthy -- its been hard for me to make this decision.