[Lolo2100]

Six months ago I got out of a 2 year relationship, and was completely broken hearted. That is until I found my current boyfriend. We've been dating for 5 months, and have been official for just over a month. He really cares about me, as do I, but I'm still very afraid of opening up again.....

[whichwayisup]

Just enjoy the relationship as it is now. Don't think or worry about next week or next month.

Have fun and try to remember this guy isn't your ex. He's a nice person and take your time opening up. Make sure he knows how you feel about HIM. That the feelings of insecurity and fear of opening up isn't about him, these are your issues and things from your past. I'm sure he'll understand.

[slubberdegullion]

^^ Listen well to WWIU. She's right on the money.

[Lolo2100]

Whichwayisup you bring up some very good points. It's like this...I find myself questioning and overanalyzing certain things in this new relationship out of fear I suppose. For instance, my new bf used to call me almost every afternoon and leave me voicemails saying he hopes I have a good day, or if something big was going on in my life he would wish me good luck and hope it all goes well. He does not do this anymore, but he does still call about everyday. Today I gave my first real teaching lesson, and he knew I was nervous about it, and I would have thought that he would have called to see how it went, but he didn't. Now I find myself wondering what happened to how he acted before and now?? This is not to say that he isn't a truly very caring guy because he has been towards me since we've been together, but....

[Neptune]

Lola2100,
So maybe you should call your boyfriend and tell him how things went. Maybe he is hoping for some participation on your part

[Lolo2100]

Neptune perhaps you are right. yes he does call more often than I, but I do participate in doing special caring things for him. For instance, he just got hired for a new job, which will really let his career take off and I treated him to dinner and bought him a card and wrote some very encouraging and sweet comments in it. Not to mention he truly appreciated how excited I was for him. I suppose I'm just afraid to put my feelings, myself and my actions out there too much because I do not want to get hurt again....I am weary of trusting another man again I guess you could say.

[whichwayisup]

^^ Listen well to WWIU. She's right on the money.

Thanks! You're really good for my ego eh!

Originally Posted by Lolo2100

Whichwayisup you bring up some very good points. It's like this...I find myself questioning and overanalyzing certain things in this new relationship out of fear I suppose. For instance, my new bf used to call me almost every afternoon and leave me voicemails saying he hopes I have a good day, or if something big was going on in my life he would wish me good luck and hope it all goes well. He does not do this anymore, but he does still call about everyday. Today I gave my first real teaching lesson, and he knew I was nervous about it, and I would have thought that he would have called to see how it went, but he didn't. Now I find myself wondering what happened to how he acted before and now?? This is not to say that he isn't a truly very caring guy because he has been towards me since we've been together, but....

I do agree with Neptune, call him and make more of an effort, don't leave it up to him to call you and ask about your day etc...It's good that you took him out for dinner and showed interest in his good things in life. If by chance he continues down that path, by not showing as much interest in your work life or other things that are important to you, then bring it up to him.

Look for his actions now, more than words. Most men, when settled in and more comfy in a relationship slow down on the compliments and little 'nice' gestures they did right at the start...It just happens, nothing you did, just life getting in the way and comfort level in the relationship.

Take it slow, enjoy it. My motto always is, never rush a good thing. Yes, you can use my line anytime with him if it fits in the conversation one day!

HEY, so how did your first teaching lesson go today? I wanna know!

[Lolo2100]

Thanks for the advise whichwayisup! I believe you are right. Well so I took the initiative today and called him (even though he's at work) and left him a voicemail just to see how he is doing and I told him that I wanted to tell him how my lesson went.