Hello guys,
I was in a relationship with a girl for a longtime. After 2 years, she started talking about marriage. I told her im not ready because i wasnt feeling financially secure for such thing. So, after 2.5 years of a loving passionate relationship, we broke up.
3 months later, she asked me if i wanted to try again and we got together again. But this time, it only took us 3 months to break up. Again, same problem... She wants to marry and i want to feel financially secure before doing such thing. But, i havent told her that, i just told her that i wasnt ready.
This was like 7 months ago.
In this 7 months, i took steps to improve my situation and i was indeed very lucky. So i dont have any financial problems anymore and im so ready to tell her the good news now.
I called her yesterday, she told me she's seeing another guy now and they are getting married next year and that she cant see me again.
I cant even describe how i feel at the moment...
Any advice?
I could manage in the mean time because my whole motivation was to get her back.
Now, i cant bear the idea of her being with somebody else. It makes me feel so bad, i cant breathe.
I have so many fresh memories of her, i remember her everywhere i go. I lost my taste for everything. I cant eat, cant sleep well, cant think , cant focus...
I am slowly realizing that i lost her forever but something in me is still resisting this fact.
I dont know how to move on...
It sounds to me like she wants to get "married" and be "married" more than she actually wants to be with someone specific. Behavior like that drives me crazy, but you have to let her make her own decisions.
Now, onto your problem. She was with you for over two years. You don't need to have a certain amount of money in order to get engaged to someone. You don't have to have a certain amount of money to get married, either.
I know it's a guy thing, but I think it's sort of a stupid guy thing.
I make twice as much money as my boyfriend, and he's the same way. In my case I don't mind, because I'm not in a particular rush to get married, and because I know my boyfriend is going to propose soon, but I can see how it would bug a lot of girls.
You can try to meet with her in person. It might change her mind. But I don't think this is a tragedy. Hurricane Katrina left a tragedy. This is two people making a couple of mistakes, and hopefully you'll learn from them.
But I don't think this is a tragedy. Hurricane Katrina left a tragedy. This is two people making a couple of mistakes, and hopefully you'll learn from them.
Treasa's right on the money with this. If you're under the delusion that a damaged romance is a tragedy, I think you have some growning, learning and travelling to do (no offence intended).
One of the things you might learn is sharing what's going on with you. You didn't tell her why you didn't feel ready. If you had, she might have agreed and waited. You can't have a relationship without sharing what's really going on with you.
__________________ We must become the change we wish to see.--Ghandi
Yeah, I agree not sharing everything was stupid. I have my mistakes in this situation.
She told me that seeing me is inappropriate for her now that she is with someone else.
I have already asked her for a dinner when i called and she refused.
How exactly can i approach her in person now?
just call her and explain yourself. tell her what happened and why you couldnt or didnt feel thatyou could marry her then. i do agree with whoever said that maybe she moved on because of obvious communication problems rather than the marriage thing though. i mean you dissapeared for 7 months and didnt tell her what your plans were? tell her. tell her now, then at least you havent left everything unsaid forever.
Yes, see her in person!
She may have talked herself into this situation because she believed you didn't care enough about her to get married, NOT the financial reasons. Once this is made clear to her, it should change her perspective immensely.
Hello guys,
I was in a relationship with a girl for a longtime. After 2 years, she started talking about marriage. I told her im not ready because i wasnt feeling financially secure for such thing. So, after 2.5 years of a loving passionate relationship, we broke up.
3 months later, she asked me if i wanted to try again and we got together again. But this time, it only took us 3 months to break up. Again, same problem... She wants to marry and i want to feel financially secure before doing such thing. But, i havent told her that, i just told her that i wasnt ready.
This was like 7 months ago.
In this 7 months, i took steps to improve my situation and i was indeed very lucky. So i dont have any financial problems anymore and im so ready to tell her the good news now.
I called her yesterday, she told me she's seeing another guy now and they are getting married next year and that she cant see me again.
I cant even describe how i feel at the moment...
Any advice?
I'm sorry, but that whole "I-cant-get-married-bcuz-I'm-not-financially-stable" song & dance story is a load of CRAP, imo.
Because at the end of the day - financial stability does not make or break a relationship, or marriage. Poor people can stay married for years. And even the richest of the rich get divorces, as we all know.
So after 2+ years, I'm not surpised your gf bailed out. I am surprised she's already ENGAGED ... but if she's looking to get married, more power to her. She was straight with you. You weren't ready. She was. You guys broke up. She moved on.
My advice to you is to move on.
And next time - don't let love slip out of your life, because you want things to be 'perfect' and 'just so' before getting married. Life is too short.
K.
__________________ ~ Yes - this is the same ol' Kengne ~
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
... but if she's looking to get married, more power to her. She was straight with you. You weren't ready. She was. You guys broke up. She moved on.
~
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