ARGH! This breakup has screwed with my head. Over the past few weeks I have been with several cute, sweet guys, but the thought of doing anything with them creeps me out. It's not because they are disgusting or anything, and I don't know why I feel like this. It's totally wierd and messing with my head. I'm single, I CAN do anything I want. Why am I so scared? I'm not worried I'll fall in love with them, its just this wall in my head that I can't get over. Do I want to fool around? Yeah, the thought hits me, but it's repulsive. I do and I don't. I can't and I want to. Argh, anybody know what the hell is wrong with me?
Maybe they're just 'cute, sweet' guys and there's nothing to it but that. Aren't there gazillions of kids who fit that description at your age? What makes any of them stand out..? Don't you think you have reasons to prefer one above the other..?
ARGH! This breakup has screwed with my head. Over the past few weeks I have been with several cute, sweet guys, but the thought of doing anything with them creeps me out. It's not because they are disgusting or anything, and I don't know why I feel like this. It's totally wierd and messing with my head. I'm single, I CAN do anything I want. Why am I so scared? I'm not worried I'll fall in love with them, its just this wall in my head that I can't get over. Do I want to fool around? Yeah, the thought hits me, but it's repulsive. I do and I don't. I can't and I want to. Argh, anybody know what the hell is wrong with me?
There's nothing wrong with you. But you are establishing a pattern of trying to runaway from the hurt you were dealt by the breakup with the ex-fiance.
I personally think that you could be trying to rush your emotional state to heal...unfortunately for each of us who are impatient the psychic takes its own sweet time. That's why we all go through different phases. I'm not dating at all but I shop and have become immersed in work. That's my avoidance mechanism. When I'm still, I start feeling sad. There's no rush to "fool around." You're beautiful and from everything you written, one can tell you are a sweet person. SLOW DOWN. There's alway a guy ready to step in when you want, you've no problem with meeting them, so put them on hold.
Feel your pain. Confront it...and perhaps put your focus on other aspects of your life which doesn't involve dating. Then you're palette will be clean and ready for a new love.
ARGH! This breakup has screwed with my head. Over the past few weeks I have been with several cute, sweet guys, but the thought of doing anything with them creeps me out. It's not because they are disgusting or anything, and I don't know why I feel like this. It's totally wierd and messing with my head. I'm single, I CAN do anything I want. Why am I so scared? I'm not worried I'll fall in love with them, its just this wall in my head that I can't get over. Do I want to fool around? Yeah, the thought hits me, but it's repulsive. I do and I don't. I can't and I want to. Argh, anybody know what the hell is wrong with me?
Believe me, I'm in the same place. I want sex, but when I think about it with someone else it doesn't feel right. Almost downright disgusting. I never felt this way about anyone else, but then again, I was never this deeply in love. I want sex, damn near need it. I even have a booty call if I want it, but that's just it. I can't do it. I just can't. Not right now, that's for sure.
I suppose when the pain goes away I'll be able to again. I just want this pain over as quickly as possible so that if I do meet someone else I'll be ready for them.
__________________ ...the purpose of a doormat is to wipe your feet on it, not love and respect it. - Balthazar The No Contact Guide
I don't think you'll ever have to worry about being alone unless you want to be. I actually think it's better right now that you don't want to get deeply involved with anyone right now. It will certainly help prevent the "rebound" scenario, which could ultimately turn out just as bad (if not thought through) and leave you thinking that ALL guys are trouble.
Not a whole lot to do about the 'anger' stage except to just allow yourself to work through it. But as far as other interpersonal relationships … just relax, relax, relax. Try to enjoy the friendships and mingling without scaring yourself to death about who the next wolf in sheep's clothing is going to be.
Besides, remaining friendly but aloof will give them all the impression that you’re a prize that's worth the challenge.
__________________
"It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.” ~ Mark Twain
Aren't there gazillions of kids who fit that description at your age?
Thanks for calling me a kid - I'll take that as a compliment, but I'm actually 24. Hehehe.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliGuy
Believe me, I'm in the same place. I want sex, but when I think about it with someone else it doesn't feel right. Almost downright disgusting. I never felt this way about anyone else, but then again, I was never this deeply in love. I want sex, damn near need it. I even have a booty call if I want it, but that's just it. I can't do it. I just can't. Not right now, that's for sure. I suppose when the pain goes away I'll be able to again. I just want this pain over as quickly as possible so that if I do meet someone else I'll be ready for them.
Thanks for your input Cali - You seem to know exactly what I'm saying. I mean my ex is a dirty-rotten scoundral, but doing ANYTHING with anybody else all I can think of is him. It's not like it's super soon, I mean it's been 2 months, but at the same time is what I need a body or a warm shoulder and a hug? I can honestly say I'm one horney B**ch, but I can also say in my head and in reality are too different things. Could I get it? Of course. I don't understand how some people can break up and jump into bed with another person within hours or days. Perhaps I'm an emotional sap - I guess physical intimacy actually means something to me and that is a part of me I can't give right now, hense the barrier.
Besides, remaining friendly but aloof will give them all the impression that you’re a prize that's worth the challenge.
Getting it ain't my problem. It's knowing what the heck I want to do with it once I got it! I'm not worried about a deep relationship or even a casual fling. I'm just wondering if my heart has closed forever. I'm not expecting myself to be ready to love again, I'm just wondering why all guys are repulsive!!
Thanks for your input Cali - You seem to know exactly what I'm saying. I mean my ex is a dirty-rotten scoundral, but doing ANYTHING with anybody else all I can think of is him. It's not like it's super soon, I mean it's been 2 months, but at the same time is what I need a body or a warm shoulder and a hug? I can honestly say I'm one horney B**ch, but I can also say in my head and in reality are too different things. Could I get it? Of course. I don't understand how some people can break up and jump into bed with another person within hours or days. Perhaps I'm an emotional sap - I guess physical intimacy actually means something to me and that is a part of me I can't give right now, hense the barrier.
I think I like you
Yes I agree, I'm horny too. All the time, to be exact. I could use a warm body as well.
I loved my ex and sex with her was something deeply loving and intimate.
My ex did not love me and sex for her for a physical release, not love.
I know that's a bit of role-reversal, but it's the reason why I can't just go and boink someone and feel good about myself. I miss so much being curled up next to her in bed and feeling her warm breath on me, feeling her warm body and that sensation of being "one" with someone.
An empty bed is so cold and uninviting to me right now. Maybe I need a blow up doll and an electric blanket to tide me over?! haha.
Yes I agree, I'm horny too. All the time, to be exact. I could use a warm body as well.
I loved my ex and sex with her was something deeply loving and intimate.
My ex did not love me and sex for her for a physical release, not love.
I know that's a bit of role-reversal, but it's the reason why I can't just go and boink someone and feel good about myself. I miss so much being curled up next to her in bed and feeling her warm breath on me, feeling her warm body and that sensation of being "one" with someone.
An empty bed is so cold and uninviting to me right now. Maybe I need a blow up doll and an electric blanket to tide me over?! haha.
Aww, you are so wise - I have been giving my toys a good workout and an electric blanket is just the key. I miss the connection, but that's just it - how can you have that connection without a loving relationship? And such a relationship can't happen until your heart has healed and you have moved on emotionally. Arhgph!
Ha, nobody can substitute the feeling of a guy's strong arms around you. That they don't have a toy for. I guess what I really need right now is the friendship physical connection - hugs, cuddles, communication. There will be plenty of time for boy toys, but in the wake of a heart-break, who wants that?
SM...the hardest thing for me after the breakup was (and still is) the lack of physical affection (i don't mean sex). I made the mistake of trying to get it with someone else and it didn't work. You will find it again, and you're right, now is not the time for boy toys.
SM...the hardest thing for me after the breakup was (and still is) the lack of physical affection (i don't mean sex). I made the mistake of trying to get it with someone else and it didn't work. You will find it again, and you're right, now is not the time for boy toys.
Lack of physical affection - ok, I have this close guy-friend who I've been friends with for years. Anyways, I'm over at his house watching TV last night and even him TICKLING me (which never bothered me before my ex) was freaking me out. I guess the feeling is not even just sexual related - god knows I don't need a man for that, lol. Or another guy that I really like I talked to for like 3 hours on the phone, but I felt guilty for having such a great time. I mean I'm not even close to looking to have ANY form of sexual involvement with ANYBODY! What I'm worried about is even the innocent stuff - hanging out with my friends, talking to cute guys and even kissing freak me out. I feel like I'm 12 years old and I got my period for the first time. LMAO!
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haha.
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