We got married before 3 years, we both work but my income was better. Since i loved him, i never minded spending my money to our house for living and help him to his college fee. Now he has graduated and got better job and better salary. I told him it is my turn to upgrade my diploma and his turn to take care of the house expense like i did before but to my surprise he is not willing now i realise that, that is why he didn't want a baby which i asked him before six months. And another seceret i got from his email that he is writting love letter to old friend of his. I was shocked when i see on his message regarding his marriage he told her that his marriage has long story but it will be over soon; i couldn't believe my eyes (he doesn't know that i know his password). When i see him the night i read his mail, he was like as if honest husband; i didn't say a word.
At the moment, i have planned to leave him i couldn't be the same wife as i have been before but i am praying to God to give me strength to tell him what he is doing to me! for me this is sudden situation! Please help any body advise me!!
First of all, get some legal advice so you know how to proceed.
Next, confront him with the e mail. Don't let him sidetrack you with his saying you snooped. He lost the right to have privacy because of his cheating- which is what he's doing in reality.
Tell him he either goes with you to marriage counseling or you walk.
Let him know you've already talked to an attorney and here is how it will play out.
Take the control out of his hands. He's using you and preparing to leave you when he gets good and ready. Push his hand a little bit.
What an a$$ he is! You should feel used, because he used you. Time for, "The Wake Up Call!". Tear into him! You don't deserve this! If he doesn't straighten up, toss the dirtbag out before he soils anymore of your life with his BS.
Thank you for taking time to read my post and reply to me!
You know what, i got the chance to talk to him on saturday, I told him it is enough i don't want to live such life any more with him and told him that i new he has some body else in his mind and he is calling her.
I was again so surprise of his lies; he said he didn't call to any body and he doesn't have any body other than me his wife! and he cried and cried oh my God! lmao: See here if felt very sorry i thought he is plaing games with me!
I know every thing, i read his mails every day! and she was tanking him that he called her yeasterday! and he told her he is happy hearing her voice etc....
Even if he cried to make me stay i don't want to live any more... What a guy is he it means i never new him well.!!
Waiting for your comment i remain
Best regards
Kukush
You are right, i was so afraid to confront him with his mails cos. he might hurt me! Actually, i have all his mails printed out and kept it aside. Since, i have decided to walk away i wanted to give him last minute with a sealed envelop. What do you think! I will even cc. to his dad and mom!
I just figured out that he is an a$$! My mom used to tell me that she detest him by seeing his attitude; some times we don't hear to our parents, now i realize that she is right! What is to cry about, he knows what he has doing in his heart! Even after our conversation he still writes to his sweety (he calls her sweety)
I am now fade up even to see him i am just waiting some points to leave... To be honest there was no wife as i have been for him!
Thanks for your comment, please add some advice which i would be very happy to read. so i don't feel lonely!
Leave and never look back !! He is an a$$ just as everyone has said.. I would leave and take everything in the house!! He is a user and you deserve better ,you done alot for him and he done you like that .. I know it will be hard but you will get through it .. He sounds to be inconsiderate and a big jerk!! You don't deserve the pain he is putting you through !! I feel so sorry he made such a mockery of you !! He played you bad and got what he wanted now he is through with you.. I hope he does this old friend that he is emailing the same way !! He is a big loser and you deserve better!! Yeah you know that old saying "Mother's know best" it is true!!
You were afraid to show him the emails?? Has he ever hit you or given you reason to think that he would? I know that you don't want it to be true, but unfortunately it is.
I'm proud of you for deciding it's time to get out!
for me this is sudden situation! Please help any body advise me!!
I'll give you one piece of advise. From a prfesional marriage guidance counseller. This may be sudden for you but its still average. In 90% of all divorces the announcement comes as a total shock to one partner.
Thank you for your support and advise, i really do appriciate it!!
Actually he never bit me, but he is a kind of verbal and emotion abuser;like for eg. he always come late at night week ends the whole day he is with his freinds it seems he come for dinner and bed time! Here during those time i am sitting alone in the house, he even don't call me when he is late! I think these are abusment! I just realize all i was so blind!
Oh, about the email he still writes and call her, by the way she is living miles away. On her last email she told him that she have lover and he is her 1st and will be the last. When he sees that, she had sent him two pic. the 2nd was with her lady freind; so today he asked her who she is! isn't it funny i never new that my husband has such character oh my God!!!!!!!
Another thing I am so sad that my Gyne. doctor told me today that i have cyst and i should be operated. I didn't tell him! I will write him a nice letter saying i am off the city for 10 days and attach his lovely emails! finally don't want to see him when i am back! and go to my hospital to deal my health may be i shold stay in the hospital 2-3 days!
Keep a copy of those emails for yourself. Soon as he sees them, he'll change his password. Anyway, he doesn't need to see the emails to understand the gravity of you knowing what he's been emailing.
I don't know why people are suggesting that you confront him with the mail. I think they watch too many soap operas. You know the truth, so do what you have to do. Don't play games with sending his personal mails all over the place. Just talk to a lawyer, prepare for a divorce, and get your medical treatment.
Out of curiousity where are you? English doesn't seem to be your first language. How balanced are the divorce laws where you live?
Before you do anything - contact an attorney and make sure you get all the information you need to protect yourself! A moment of revenge is not worth losing everything.
I am not at all familiar with divorce laws - however I do know someone who was in a similiar situation - and even though she made more money, he paid her alimony (or the equivelant) due to her "investment" in his future earnings. It seems the fact that she supported him through school and paid some of his tuition was the equivelant to an investment and after the divorce her lawyer made sure she was made whole, including interest, etc.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
You don't deserve the pain he is putting you through !! I feel so sorry he made such a mockery of you !! He played you bad and got what he wanted now he is through with you.. 
I hope he does this old friend that he is emailing the same way !! 
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