With one guy, we started off as friends, but the attraction was there from the start. We both knew (without it being said) it was only a matter of time before we hooked up to be more than friends.
The other guys I dated in my past were ones I knew sort of but not 'friends' first.
My now hubby, back then, we were friends for a while before dating. We knew eachother from work.
I will be very interested to see the response to this Q as well.
I cannot recall ever being approached by a woman who wanted only to be my friend. I have met women who were friends of my friends and became 'friendly' in a platonic way,
With one guy, we started off as friends, but the attraction was there from the start. We both knew (without it being said) it was only a matter of time before we hooked up to be more than friends.
The other guys I dated in my past were ones I knew sort of but not 'friends' first.
My now hubby, back then, we were friends for a while before dating. We knew eachother from work.
OK, so tell me about this girl...
Nothing to tell whichway. It is just a general question that I have been thinking about and I thought I would post it. IT is not in regard to a women I am friends with now or pursuing. I have a stripper gal pursuing me and I am weighing wither I want to go out with her or not. Should be great sex if/when we hook up.
Just go out with her..the date will tell you if you want anything further..
No harm no foul ..
She might be a great person to be with..
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yamaha
Nothing to tell whichway. It is just a general question that I have been thinking about and I thought I would post it. IT is not in regard to a women I am friends with now or pursuing. I have a stripper gal pursuing me and I am weighing wither I want to go out with her or not. Should be great sex if/when we hook up.
...hmm. That's really interesting, actually. Theoretically speaking, I can't see why not, but in practice, I don't know if I ever have pursued a platonic "friendship" with a guy, as such. I've had platonic male friends from classes, friends of friends, etc. But I don't know that I've ever met a guy and said to myself, 'I'm going to make him my friend!!'.
I do think there were guys I might have thought would be great friends to have in that way, but maybe there's a deep-seated fear that a gesture would be taken the wrong way. I suppose if I had wanted to enough, I would have, though. But most of my friendships, with women or men, are more organic (start chatting in class, hanging out in groups, roommates, etc.) than pursuit-related, anyway. I guess pursuit implies a more intense personal interest.
Hm, I dunno. I'd be interested to hear other people's thoughts, too.
__________________ We are the night ocean filled with glints of light.
We are the space between the fish and the moon, while we sit here together.
Last edited by seachange; 9th December 2005 at 12:37 PM..
...hmm. That's really interesting, actually. Theoretically speaking, I can't see why not, but in practice, I don't know if I ever have pursued a platonic "friendship" with a guy, as such. I've had platonic male friends from classes, friends of friends, etc. But I don't know that I've ever met a guy and said to myself, 'I'm going to make him my friend!!'.
I do think there were guys I might have thought would be great friends to have in that way, but maybe there's a deep-seated fear that a gesture would be taken the wrong way. I suppose if I had wanted to enough, I would have, though. But most of my friendships, with women or men, are more organic (start chatting in class, hanging out in groups, roommates, etc.) than pursuit-related, anyway. I guess pursuit implies a more intense personal interest.
Hm, I dunno. I'd be interested to hear other people's thoughts, too.
I do think it is an interesting question. I have never met a women who looked at me and said, lets be friends. Sometimes friendships just happen but I am curious as to if women who like male friends actually think about making him their friend.
Do you see friendship qualities in them that you like and you want to befriend them?
My now hubby, back then, we were friends for a while before dating. We knew eachother from work.
you were friends before u started to date? this is just unbelivable..
i always thought women never date their guy-friends!!
__________________ "She keeps a picture of me in her apartment in the city;
Some things in this world man, they don't make sense" -- Bright Lights, Matchbox 20
...hmm. That's really interesting, actually. Theoretically speaking, I can't see why not, but in practice, I don't know if I ever have pursued a platonic "friendship" with a guy, as such. I've had platonic male friends from classes, friends of friends, etc. But I don't know that I've ever met a guy and said to myself, 'I'm going to make him my friend!!'.
I do think there were guys I might have thought would be great friends to have in that way, but maybe there's a deep-seated fear that a gesture would be taken the wrong way. I suppose if I had wanted to enough, I would have, though. But most of my friendships, with women or men, are more organic (start chatting in class, hanging out in groups, roommates, etc.) than pursuit-related, anyway. I guess pursuit implies a more intense personal interest.
Hm, I dunno. I'd be interested to hear other people's thoughts, too.
i tend to disagree... just a few months back i met a woman in a public place and had a conversation... one thing led to another, we became very close, went out a lot and eventually i started developing feelings for her... but she says that she only wants me as a friend. which implies that she might have told to herself "i am going to make him my friend" when we both met...
which implies that she might have told to herself "i am going to make him my friend" when we both met...
well, not necessarily. you said you met her in a public place - how did that come about? did she approach you and start talking to you, and actively invite you out a lot to do stuff as friends, rather than the other way around?
well, not necessarily. you said you met her in a public place - how did that come about? did she approach you and start talking to you, and actively invite you out a lot to do stuff as friends, rather than the other way around?
well i met her in a train station... she was a total stranger when i met her... the very first sentence i spoke was "do you have the train schedule?".. we travelled together and had a wonderful conversation.. then we realized we live in the same town and then started taking the train together everyday... it was she that actively suggested that we do lunch, go to games, movies, etc... she sent me text messages everyday to make sure i travel along with her in the train.. well anyway, to make a long story short i started developing feelings for her... i guess its obvious for that to happen when u spend nearly 4 hours a day, 5 days a week with the same person and for a period of 3 months... i told her about my feelings and asked her out and she said she only sees me as a friend! i got burnt, especially when it was she that came after me... whatever man...
Heeloooo, how is everyone today?
Most of my friends are men , to be honest, I cannot seem to find non-"catty" femals relationships, and seem to have more in common with men.If I meet someone I think is friend material I usually will have several convos and then have my s/o get their # so we can do something , coffee,a movie, dinner something together.I feel it's just more appropriate that way,it it's usually aparent to everyone around us that s/o and I are quite committed to each other, so there is no confusion about intent.After socializing together I am more comfy socialzing one on one with that person. I simply find in my situation that men have a broader range of interests and the conversation is better so I tend towards male - female friendships.
well i met her in a train station... she was a total stranger when i met her... the very first sentence i spoke was "do you have the train schedule?".. we travelled together and had a wonderful conversation.. then we realized we live in the same town and then started taking the train together everyday... it was she that actively suggested that we do lunch, go to games, movies, etc... she sent me text messages everyday to make sure i travel along with her in the train.. well anyway, to make a long story short i started developing feelings for her... i guess its obvious for that to happen when u spend nearly 4 hours a day, 5 days a week with the same person and for a period of 3 months... i told her about my feelings and asked her out and she said she only sees me as a friend! i got burnt, especially when it was she that came after me... whatever man...
hey, noclobber - so, I read your thread. But it doesn't sound like it was ever exactly platonic, in the sense that I thought Yamaha meant. There was always an undercurrent of flirting, and you each had a hidden agenda beneath the "friendship" - you wanted to date her, and she wanted someone to flirt with who wouldn't add pressure and would therefore help her feel less screwy from her failing/broken longterm relationship. You were indeed a kind of rebound guy for her, though there wasn't a physical relationship. So I don't think it's exactly the same thing as a girl just randomly seeing a guy and saying, hey, let's be friends, k?
By the way, rebounds suck. Sorry for what happened.
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Should be great sex if/when we hook up.
Sorry for what happened.
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