Hi guys, I am new here so go easy on me
Where to start? (sorry, a bit long I'm afraid)
Ok, a couple of Sundays back, I did some walking in the Lake District with a few climbing freinds, plus a girl/woman who was new in the club. I had been infromed that she was single, but at the time I thought nothing of it.
Anyway, as she was quite inexperienced in freezing conditions (it was down to -25 windchill in places) I "looked after her" which she really appreciated, but even from the start I made the effort to talk to her and find out about her. And over the course of the day, I realised how similar we were as as far as interests go and all that; pretty compatible. And if I was at the back snapping pictures and lagging, she would always look to see if I was still there.
Well, at the end of the day, we (her and another freind) went to a pub on the way home and all we could do was look into each others eyes (cheesy I know).
When she dropped me off I decided to say "balls to it" and ask her out for a drink and whatnot; she accepted, so I was chuffed.
We went out for a drink and I felt like something was wrong. She was extremely quiet and even looked uncomfortable and things became awkward. Then, the penny dropped. She had recently split with a guy, two weeks previous, but they were only "together" for 2 months. Well, she was a bit cut up. She said she did really like me and even fancied me as I was "so nice". She said she wanted to go home. So I walked her home which she refused initially as she said she was "very independant" but then she instantly changed her mind and said "actaully, you can walk me home".
We got to hers and I stayed for a glass of wine and a chat. I explained that I too, had ended a 5 year relationship 6 months back and I just so wanted to move on in my life, and the outdoor type I go for are few and far between. I really made her smile and this pleased me. But then she put her head in her hands and cryed. I instantly got up and gave her a really tight hug and she really gripped me - but she could not (as I couldn't) take her eyes off mine, and all the while she was stroking my arm. I just told her to let whatever she had pent up, to let it out and not be ashamed to cry as I do it too.
She was/is confused as she does like me and ditto.
Anyway, I went home and for some reason, I got angry - don't ask me why. Maybe it's because my expectations were raised only for them to be dashed again. So, I said some really horrible things to her and she did me and she so did not deserve any of it. It's like I was hacked off because she hurt my (sensitive) feelings. But I was so wrong to go at her. So next day I sent her a mail saying how sorry I was and I'd behaved really selfishly. She literally told me where to go. And that was last week.
Tonight, I plucked up the courage to text her and asked if we could talk - I expected the cold shoulder or even no response. Instead, she got back to me and said it would nice and she wanted to talk to me too.
So I am waiting, right now, for the text to say I can ring her.
To be honest, I personally see the potential for a relationship and we can relate to each other very well. I am almost ready to be with someone again and I really, really like her - she's had such a massive affect on me and I think about her a lot. And she is exactly the kind of person I have been looking for and the right age too.
But I am so, so afraid of being hurt and messed around. And I hurt easily. I am not inexperienced in realtionships as my last one was 5 years and the one before that was almost 7, but with only a short break in between.
Can you guys give me any advice on this, please? Even now, I am worried that I'll get upset if she does not contact me. It's because of my longing to speak with her and I really want to see her again.
HELP!!
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