Hey, bitta background info... my ex broke up with me about 6-7 months ago saying she didn't want a boyfriend, wanted to concentrate on uni, etc, etc. (all bullcrap lies).
About a month after that was my bday, and bday party. She didn't bother to even sms me on my bday, or make an appearance or anything at my party.
We've been NC for about 5 months or so now, besides the occasional hello. I have been wanting to break NC but held off, because I still want to talk to her, in hopes of maybe sometime soon getting back with her. She did say when she broke up with me that she 'never wanted to lose contact with me', etc etc (probably bullcrap also).
Well, the times have changed.. it's HER bday in a few days. (If shes having a party, my invite musta got lost in the mail haha), and I was wondering if it would be a good chance to break NC and the ice, by sending her a bday sms?
Even if she doesn't reply, or has changed numbers, or deleted mine, or whatever.. I thought maybe it'd be a nice thing to do.. even though she did me no favors, and has been a total bitch since!
My ex broke up with me 1 week before my bday. Same as yours, nothing, not a word, blah blah blah...
Got the whole I want to be friends, I dont want to lose contact blah blah blah. Well you know what, bullsh*t.
It only has been a month or so, but NC ever since.
Dont contact her, what's the use?
Except if you have REALLY moved on, meaning you have someone else, you are just wishing her a happy bday because you are a nice person, not because you wish her back romantically.
But in the end, dude, she broke up with you man! If she wanted anything to do with you, she would have called just like omega said, right?
Why don't you get her a gift while you are at it,...uh oh,..I sound like westernxer now! whoops, sorry to take you thunder WX.
Seriously, DO NOT CALL,..she would love that ego boost and it will just drive her away further if you think she will wake up and come back someday. If you don't contact her,she will wonder why, I'm sure. If she doesn't then you are better off anyway.
it doesn't sound like the two of you even know each other anymore.
i don't know why people think birthdays are so uber-special that exes simply have to recognized.
i think i'll call all of my exes on groundhog day. then i'll berate them for not calling me first on such a special day.
sorry. i say it's time to get over it and move on. don't use her birthday as a way for you to conveniently make sure she's reminded of you. she knows where you are, if she wanted to find you, she would have by now.
__________________ disclaimer...if i was trying to be mean, you would know it. until then, stop looking for it where it doesn't exist.
"it's got to be jazz...that's what she wants".....rsOFtc
don't mind-***** me...and maybe i won't mind-***** you.
Let me get this straight.........
She dumped you.
She didn't acknowledge your birthday.
You're thinking about SMSing her a happy birthday wish.
Dude, the reason she didn't send you any kind of birthday wish is that she couldn't care less about you. Delete all her contact information and forget about her.
gfto, wouldn't matter if I deleted her contact info, I know it all off by heart, and believe me, it's easier said than done trying to forget her.
I wish I COULD forget about her, every time I try it just comes back.
I guess I was just trying to cling onto anything I could really, in spite of hopeful thinking about her coming back one day, when I know it's not the case.
I suppose she's the one that broke it off, she's the one that needs to make first initial contact if she wants to, right?
I guess I was just trying to cling onto anything I could really
You hit the nail on the head. You realize that she simply isn't interested in you anymore, but you're grasping at straws. I've done the same thing. The key is to not fight reality. It's over. Sure, she might contact you at some point. Even if she does, I wouldn't go back if I were you. You'd be better off getting with a new girl than to go back to someone who will just dump you again. Good luck!
Patwheel made an excellent point that I wanted to highlight: The only reason you want to wish her a happy bday is to use that as an excuse to contact her and "remind" her of your presence.
Never, ever do X to get someone else to do Y. It doesnt work. You only control what YOU do, and you are absolutely right: she will contact you if she wants to. In the meantime, focus on getting yourself back on your feet.
As for the whole "why acknowledge a bday" question Rainyday asked: I dont know the answer to that, and I fell victim of the very same thing (wanted to wish the ex a happy one). LAME, is what it is
__________________
Love makes you do crazy things...insane things. Things you never thought in a million years you would see youself do. - Wicker Park
Good judgement comes from experience and experience, well...that comes from bad judgement
If you don't contact her,she will wonder why, I'm sure.
Yup. I've found this a couple of times now. Since I'm pretty considerate as a general rule, NOT calling on a birthday or sending a card seems to grab the ex's attention. Then THEY initiate contact...
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That is not me in the photo. Nor is it my ass
Patwheel made an excellent point that I wanted to highlight: The only reason you want to wish her a happy bday is to use that as an excuse to contact her and "remind" her of your presence.
i thought that was me....not that it really matters.
Yup. I've found this a couple of times now. Since I'm pretty considerate as a general rule, NOT calling on a birthday or sending a card seems to grab the ex's attention. Then THEY initiate contact...
Well, when she didn't acknowledge my birthday, it got me wondering, and a little upset.
i thought that was me....not that it really matters.
but it happens a lot.
Youre right you did say something very similar but it was indeed patwheel who said,
Quote:
Originally Posted by PATWHEEL
Except if you have REALLY moved on, meaning you have someone else, you are just wishing her a happy bday because you are a nice person, not because you wish her back romantically.
Well, when she didn't acknowledge my birthday, it got me wondering, and a little upset.
For the record: (and not that I would suggest thinking too far into this however I wanted to mention) My ex came back to me the day after his bday -- he was hurt because I didnt acknowledge it. There were other factors, obviously, but not calling spoke volumes louder than anything I ever possibly could have planned saying to him.
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