I am glad this place exists so I can share my story and problem wtih you guys, it will make me feel better! I made a mistake, I should have never done. I regret it. and yea I am a bad person. I dont want any criticism please, I just need you guys' advice and support. My best friend met this guy like a year ago. They decided to get married shortly and everything. I told my friend that this guy was no good for her. He has baggage with him, because he already had a child with another girl. And plus hes 26, which is 7 years older than my friend. So 3 months ago she found out she was pregnant. Which wasn't really a surprise to me. A month ago they got into a huge fight and were about to split up. After a week, I decided to go to their house, in which only her guy was there, and she went to her parents house. I talked to him for like a couple hours, trying to figure out what happened between them and everything. At night, we started talking dirty and hes like yea I havent had sex, and somehow one thing let to another, and I ended up giving him a blowjob. Then after, I felt like shi*. They ended up getting back together, and my best friend still doesn't know. I am too afraid to tell her, and its gotten me really sad. I even cried the other night :-( I don't know what to do, any help would be appreciated thanks!
He sounds like a total scumbag. You should let her know because you don't want your friend to be with someone like that. Also, you need to tell her because she's going to find out one day anyhow and it's better if it comes from you than someone else. She's going to be super mad at you, but maybe she'll be able to forgive you if you're honest.
I don't think shes gonna forgive me. If I tell her shes never gonna talk to me again. I am just for some reason hoping that she dumps him gets an abortion, and then after a while I can tell her.
You have to do what you feel is right. Noone can decide that for you. It might be better her hearing it from you, as her friend. She is going to be upset and pissed off. All you can do is tell her it was a mistake, that you're very sorry and you will do everything possible to build up the trust again, do what it takes to fix her hurt feelings. Don't put all the blame on him, BOTH of you screwed up.
If you don't tell her and he does, chances are he will make it look bad all on you.
Good luck and keep posting! Ignore the comments you don't like. Just concentrate on posts that are helping you.
I'm assuming that you're referring to GM's comment. And frankly, I don't see how you've managed to miss his point.
Giving a blowjob is not like tripping on the sidewalk. It doesn't just happen. Nope...you made a decision. And a poor one at that because it has ruined your relationship with your best friend.
Funny thing about good advice. It's not always what you want to hear, but rather what you need to hear.
What you need to be hearing is that your ability to make good decisions is suspect....and you need to be asking yourself why.
You put yourself in a position where something bad could happen. You made a decision to go there, you made a decision to butt into your friend's personal life, you made a decision to "talk dirty", and you made a decision to get physical with your best friend's husband.
Referring to it as "somehow one thing let to another" is cop-out. And YOU are the one who is sold short by it, because you've given yourself an excuse NOT to deal with your issues.
Of course she is going to be mad! Wouldn't you be?
It is obvious that you don't feel that you should be taking ownership for what YOU did to YOUR friend. The title of this thread clearly indicates that you feel that he is more responsible, which is why you never titled this thread "I cheated with my best friend's man"
I agree with Lady Jane. You screwed up. Accept responsibilty. Take your lumps. Don't ever do that to a friend again.
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"All wounds heal... unless you pick at them"
I am just for some reason hoping that she dumps him gets an abortion, and then after a while I can tell her.
In some cases, you could hope by being silent about what happened, it will never come out. In this situation, you can't bank on that.
Your friend may get in contact with this loser, have another dispute, in which he may notify her of what you both willingly did together.
Your friend may have a change of heart and go back to this guy. You and the bf will have a silent partnership about keeping your encounter mum, until one of you decides to get back at the other person or your friend by telling her.
There's no guarantee you will keep her as a friend if you tell her now--but if she finds out later on or from someone else, she'll feel even more betrayed.
I think in these circumstances, you would best serve things by remaining silent and removing yourself from their lives. When you think about it, you're really not her best freind at all and to stick around puts you indanger of cheating with him again. Now that she's pregnant, I don't think shattering her world is the best thing to do. It would be selfish as it's only effective purpose would be to alleviate your guilt. Without the baby being involved, I'd say it was your call. But there is a chance they can have a happy family life now without this information coming out. I think that baby deserves the chance.
Yes, I know I messed up!! You don't think I am aware of that? I clearly messed up. And yea, I am a bad person, but I just don't know what to do now. Should I just back out of their lives and lose my friend without ever her knowing. He would never tell her, so if I keep my mouth shut, she'll never know. Or should I tell her which would mean probably losing her and hurting her both at the same time. I am so lost!
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Not so much criticism as amused curiousity...
And frankly, I don't see how you've managed to miss his point.
Nope...you made a decision. And a poor one at that because it has ruined your relationship with your best friend.
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