Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
What is it that upsets you about it? Is it fear that maybe he enjoyed that kind of thing? Or is it that you feel he had something with this stripper he doesn't have with you? Maybe you feel she was more erotic than you can be? Perhaps you feel tame and straight-laced in comparison and that he will think of that wild night and you won't measure up?
If that is the case, then prove yourself. Do something brash, bold and highly erotic. Something that will make his jaw hit the floor with shock. Show him and yourself that you can be wild and exotic.
__________________
I know the difference between right and wrong, I just don't care.
____________________________________________
Shut up, I'm not done blaming everyone who isn't me.
____________________________________________
"I have done that," says my memory. "I cannot have done that," says my pride, and remains inexorable. Eventually--memory yields.--Nietzsche
I made a mistake with this post. The actual post is below. I know no one falls in love with their stripper. I'm not jealous about that. I feel that there is something sacred about marriage and he's defiled it. I also feel humiliated that it was witnessed by so many people.
Last edited by summer74; 3rd December 2005 at 6:19 AM..
Reason: spelling
This is what happened. I was married in October and right before the wedding my husband's friends threw him a bachelor party. They told us that it was just going to be a big party with all his friends, but later it turned into a hotel room with a stripper. She was fully naked and grinding on him while he was directed to smear lotion all over her breasts and and lick whipped cream off her body. His friends bought him this type of lap dance 4 times. He was honest with me and told me all the details, but I'm so disgusted by the whole thing that I'm still very upset. I feel cheated on and so humiliated when I see his friends that witnessed the event. I know he's wishes it hadn't happened, but I'm still so angry. How do I let this go? It's so painful for me.
Not sure if it makes a difference to you, but his behavior isn't abnormal regarding a bachelor party. It's an akward situation to be put in for guys really. It is your party, then how can you be the wet blanket? You end up at the mercy of the other people involved to a large extent. You can't turn down the drinks they buy you. You can't refuse a lap dance they have bought for you.
My bachelor party, I was brought up onstage at the strip club. I was stripped, whipped with my own belt. I had 3 strippers bouncing themselves on my face and grinding on my face. And I also whipped one with my belt too. It was harmless. I told my now XW about it too. Sure I got a bit of grief for it, mostly for having been completely stripped at the end by these girls.
How long was she mad at you for? We've been married for two months. I didn't bring it up at all on the honeymoon. Felt really upset about it for a week when we got back and I started feeling bad again yesterday. When does the hurt go away? My husband's getting tired of it.
She wasn't really mad at me. It was more joking and teasing. I think she was madder at me for watching a hockey game while we were on her honeymoon. Hello, playoffs, Game 7, OT! Most thrilling and exciting spectacle in all of sports.
I don't think your husband has had an bad intentions. He was just being a guy. Yet, he could still remain faithful and loyal to you for the rest of your relationship.
Are there any married women out here who've had to deal with this and who can give me some advice? I love my husband and want to be able to move on and enjoy being married!
These aren't choices your husband would of choosen for himself ...he was at the mercy of his well meaning friends. Peer pressure doesn't stop because we have graduated from high school. The party was in his honor, one last wild boys night out....you should let it go...although it's easy to say....and remember that your husband choose you to spend his life with and that he isn't out getting lap dances every weekend because there are men -- married men at that who do. He came home and told you the truth and was honest about what happened, he didn't try to be sneaky about it or hide it from you....that alone should earn your trust.
Life is short....enjoy the bliss of new married life....don't let one night of boys being boys (which the actual incident proably only lasted a total of less than an hour) bring you misery. He loves you...remember your wedding day and the happiness and love you felt....and let it go.
(ps. my x-husband brother did far worse for him at his bachelor party...sometimes we all give into pressure...and sometimes we have to learn to forget)
Good Luck and Congratulations!!
__________________ If i wrote you a love letter, would you write back?
I've been married for awhile, and we've had our issues over the years. But even my sensitive wife laughs at what happened at my over-the-top bachelor party. Her unusually reasonable view is that the girls who were there probably moved on to 15 different guys the next night, and probably perform for hundreds, if not thousands, a year. They're entertainers, not sex partners. This is also my view about the naked guys her friends dialed up for her bachelorette party.
I can't really agree with anybody for letting this go. He either has very inconsiderate friends who have no clue about your husband and sincerely believed he would like this kind of show. Or they are kind of dumb and deliberately put him into a very unpleasant situation because they knew he wouldn't like it (he then should get rid of this kind of friends). Or they organized him something that he wanted.
In the first case I understand that your husband would have needed a lot of gut to say that this is not what he wanted and to get out of it.
In the second case I think it shouldn't be such a problem to tell people to get lost who don't respect your wishes with intention.
In the third case I would worry if this is really the kind of man I wanted to be married with. I personally just don't trust men who go to strip bars.
In general I also don't think it's a good idea to be with a man who has friends who hang out in strip bars or who organize parties with strippers. Strip bars seem to be places where Jerry Springer audience hangs around. Maybe this is an American thing, but in Europe it's way less common for people to go to strip bars, not if you're somewhat educated at least.
Please, my wife even described what her strippers looked like in detail I'd rather not know. There are so many more important aspects to marriage. She occasionally still goes to friends' crazy bachelorette parties, and on the rare occassion I go to a strip club, I'll tell her I got a lap dance. You can't expect someone to suddenly become gay in the presence of the opposite sex because he or she is now wearing a ring.
Please, my wife even described what her strippers looked like in detail I'd rather not know. There are so many more important aspects to marriage. She occasionally still goes to friends' crazy bachelorette parties, and on the rare occassion I go to a strip club, I'll tell her I got a lap dance. You can't expect someone to suddenly become gay in the presence of the opposite sex because he or she is now wearing a ring.
If men and women want to live like that then fine then they shouldn't marry and should stay single !! When you take vows of marriage you promise to forsake all others!!
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Linear Mode
