Okay here's a little background info into my situation, I meet a guy a few months ago, we were just friends, he had a live-in girlfriend and I just wasn't looking for anything. His girlfriend ended up cheating on him and leaving him about a month ago. He was devestated and I was just trying to be friendly and helpful by letting him vent. This lead to us hanging out and we began talking about other things and eventually one thing lead to another and we began seeing eachother. He told me he'd never had a short term relationship and that he wasn't planning on changing that now and that he really cared about me. This was all fine with me and I knew he wasn't 100% over his ex but I also knew he was developing feelings for me and since I was still a little unsure, this was alright with me. Now he says he needs time by himself and that he's unsure because although his ex is f***ing someone else she keeps insinuating that maybe they could eventually get back together. He says he's really messed up and he just needs time but he still wants to talk, but just talk (he's also just talking with the ex too, which is somewhat understandable because they have a kid together). I'm okay with this for a little while but I'm starting to get parinoid. I never planned on liking this guy and now it feels like it's a fifty fifty chance that I'm going to get burned and the stress of it all has my nerves shoot. I wish I could just blow him off but the problem is he actually is a really good guy and he's trying not to lead me on, or else he wouldn't have talked to me about all of this but it's all just so hard. He said that he hoped I could wait but he'd understand if I couldn't. I guess I just need some feedback on all this. I'm fairly young and inexperienced and I'm just not used to having to deal with situations like this. So does anyone out there think I should wait a few weeks, or just cut my loses?
You are fairly ypung, he has a whole load of stuff to deal with including a child. You probably do not need all this drama in your life. Go out and have some fun. You are not this guys counselor, you don't owe him anything.
As long as you were just friends, it was fine for you to provide a shoulder for him to cry on. Now that you've gone past the friends stage, you've become part of his problem - he's emotionally involved with you and his ex. So I don't see how you can provide that shoulder anymore.
He needs an objective friend, and you need to figure out just how much emotional turmoil you're willing to go through for this guy, because with a child involved, there's going to be turmoil!
I just feel that I can't turn my back on him now, he keeps wanting to talk (just talk) and I don't want to stop because I know he's talking to his ex too. And it's not like he ever wanted to be just friends, he admited to me that the first time he asked me to hang out by ourselves (this was after his ex dumped him) that he already saw a possibility for something, but I was just to clueless to notice it at the time. It's just so hard for me to meet people, let alone meet someone who I can talk to so easily about anything and everything. I'm trying to concentrate on college and the other activities in my life but I keep thinking about him. This whole thing is driving me crazy!
You're no longer just friends with him, as Michaelk said, you're emotionally involved, and you're going to be hurt and angry if he goes back to his ex or decides to keep you in the 'friend zone' and see other women.
I'd back off from spending time with him, be friendly when you see him, but don't get involved in his personal problems. Keeping up the regular contact with him is going to fuel your hopes of having a great relationship with this guy, instead of seeing him as a good guy clearly on the rebound who needs time alone to sort out his problems.
This is all very sound advice and I'm taking it under serious consideration but just one question, what do I do when he contacts me? He keeps calling and emailing and he says how much he cares and how beautiful I am and how he just needs a little time, what I'm I supposed to do with that?
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