Hey everyone, I've been reading this site for a few weeks looking for help. My girlfriend of 10 months and I broke up about a month ago. For the last month of our relationship we would argue a lot about stupid stuff. I would get angry, curse some, and raise my voice. She told me before about how much she hates yelling and cursing and told me not to do it. We actually had a near break up this past summer because of the arguing, and I "promised" I wouldn't do it again, but I did. Well I realize now after she broke up with me, that I really can control my temper. I've gone to the counselor at my college and spoke to a lot of other people about it. Now I realize I don't have to get so angry about stupid stuff. I don't want to lose the one I love because of an anger problem I can control.

Anyway last night, after not calling her for a while, but still seeing and speaking to her at school I asked her out. At first she didn't want to but then she agreed with me but said she needed to be home by 7:45 to "watch this show on tv". She got off work at 6:30 so she knew that she wouldn't be home in time anyway. So I said, ok you'll be home, obviously with no intention of bringing her home on time. You know how when you were little and mad at your parents, they'd try being nice to you and you'd still act mad even though you really weren't. She is doing that exact same thing.She seems like she isn't mad at me, but is acting like she is. After picking her up, we talked about everything except us. I told her we were just going to this little pizza place we used to like going to, but I surprised her by taking her to a really nice restaurant that she always wanted to go to but never had time to. She loved the food, so I guess that was a plus.

Well after dinner, I took her back to her work so she could get her car, (where I picked her up from) and we ended up talking for over an hour. She doesn't think that I can be nice like I used to be, it seems like she is just being pessimistic. She says that "You'll only get worse..." but after the pain it has caused me already, I know that I would never mess up again. I love this girl with all of my heart, and I know she still cares about me, but is just way too stubborn to give in yet. Do you guys think I have a chance of getting back with her, or should I just try to give her more time. This has been extremely hard for me, I miss her so much. Sorry if this is long and a little incoherent at parts, but I'm trying to do homework also at the same time. Thank you

[jacked17]

I mean the ball is in her court on to what she wants to do. In my last breakup when I tried getting back together with my ex I really pressured and I talked about us getting back together all of the time and it really annoyed her and it pushed her away. I know it's impossible to not want to talk about it when you're together. The other thing is she has it set in her head that your anger problem hasn't changed. It's difficult when she's stubborn and you told her already you would change and you didn't. She's going to remember that you already told her and it didn't happen. She's probably thinking that everything is going to go back to the way it was. As my ex always put it she couldn't go back. It's definetly her decision though as far as what she wants to do. I just wouldn't put too much pressure on her because it'll probably push her away.