Always a cheat?

loveheart59 · 27th November 2005, 1:17 PM

I just wanted to gage an opinion of a situation my friend is in at the moment. She is 20 and her boyfriend is 30. After being 2gether 6 months or under they decided to get pregnant.
At four months pregnant he started cheating on her with another girl from the area, she only found out when she looked at his fone and there was a naked picture of her

. Anyway he has stopped sleeping with this girl (but hes still not squeeky clean) and they are now engaged
She tells me " I think he just wants to have his freedom now, he probrably will change because he takes marriage really seriously".

What do you think, is he just bulls**tting her or can a man cheat on a woman who has his child and then stop as soon as he signs the marriage papers? And why does he want his freedom now if hes 10 years older than her?

wanda1974 · 27th November 2005, 1:23 PM

If he cheated on her after getting her pregnant, things WILL NOT change, papers or not! If he is cheating while she is carrying his child, that says a lot right there. And him wanting his freedom??????? He should've thought of that before knocking her up. this guy probably won't change.

slubberdegullion · 27th November 2005, 1:50 PM

She tells me " I think he just wants to have his freedom now, he probrably will change because he takes marriage really seriously."

The delusion of marriage in a nutshell. Why people continue to believe this is completely beyond me.

wanda1974 · 27th November 2005, 2:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slubberdegullion

She tells me " I think he just wants to have his freedom now, he probrably will change because he takes marriage really seriously."

The delusion of marriage in a nutshell. Why people continue to believe this is completely beyond me.

Couldn't have said it better myself!

SuperMonk · 27th November 2005, 4:16 PM

Marriage is just a piece of paper and the material worth. To men, marriage means NOTHING, but to women it means EVERYTHING. We men do not mind being in very long and dedicated relationships - We'd LOVE to be with just ONE person all our lives.. IF... the woman was at least 95% compatible with what the guy wants. If she isn't or VICE VERSA, the woman or man will stray or get very bored with the relationship.

Marriage: Beneficial for women, not that beneficial for men. If they were to divorce, a man might have to pay X amount of years of alimony. The woman? Probably nothing if she's poorer. That's why I'm never going to marry a woman unless she is at least 95% of what I want in a woman in terms of personality (since that's what matters in the long run)

Get her a book "He's just not that into you" - but then again she doesn't need it cause HIM CHEATING pretty much is a huge ass red flag that he isn't!!!

I've cheated before, do you want to know why? It's because I was too much of a women (sorry but it's true, women) to admit that I wasn't happy in the relationship and wanted out.

Fun2BMe · 27th November 2005, 4:30 PM

That is too big of a generalization that once someone cheats, they will always cheat. I'm sure some men will feel bad and realize it was a mistake and not do it again. IF they ALWAYS cheat, then it will be unlikely they will stop.

SuperMonk · 27th November 2005, 4:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fun2BMe

That is too big of a generalization that once someone cheats, they will always cheat. I'm sure some men will feel bad and realize it was a mistake and not do it again. IF they ALWAYS cheat, then it will be unlikely they will stop.

it MAY stop, or it MAY NOT... the thing is, when a guy OR girl cheats --- he is looking for someone more compatible than the current partner. that's how it is, it's usually a precursor to a breakup and people should breakup.. too bad that the woman has a KID.. man that must suck!

loveheart59 · 27th November 2005, 7:28 PM

I now just found out that he said that he would move back in with her in a FEW YEARS

! What the hell does this mean from the mans point of view? He says she needs to "grow up" (hes the one who decided to go ahead with a 17 year old when he was 28) example: she needs to drive so she can stop relying on him. Is it just me, or is this just a lame excuse to move out for 2-3 years when they have a child together?!

She said the relationship goes well when theyre not with her daughter but when shes there hes really weird and moody (even though he love his baby to death). He may be playing away still but shes trying not to think of it.

Fun2BMe · 27th November 2005, 7:32 PM

He wants to avoid any diaper changing and getting up in the middle of the night to a crying baby. He was too immature to immpregnate a woman. Maybe he cheated intentionally so she would dump him and he'd have an excuse to walk away. When he was forgiven, he became the bad guy and had to literally say that he wants a few years of time-off!