...And this time it's over between us. We actually scheduled the wedding for tomorrow, Nov. 24th and just today he changed his mind. In the last few days, I asked him many times if he's sure about this and he said "yes." I figured that something was wrong, given that he forgot to bring the rings or a suit for the wedding; he didn't bring any present for me either, and hadn't proposed to me yet (he did only unofficially on the phone about a weak ago). So I told him it was okay if he changed his mind now, I wouldn't break up with him. But he made me invite two friends as witnesses and schedule everything just to
change his mind one day prior to the wedding! That was unacceptable and I don't want to be with him ever again.
He even came to my kids' school (together with his twin brother) to parade there, he met their teacher too. That's so embarrassing! He made a fool out of me in front of everyone.
For months he has been telling me that he wanted to be with me forever, that I was the love of his life, that he loved my children who also loved him so much and are now broken-hearted. We had a wonderful relationship and nothing particular caused this sudden turn. He said I am a great and wonderful women (that's the only thing he didn't lie about!
) and that it wasn't my fault. He also told me the first time that it had nothing to do with my kids as they are great children and he loved them (that I don't believe!). And they adored him. But now they are disappointed and angry with him. They asked me why he decided not to marry me and how can he not know why or not be sure about it. I didn't know what to tell them except that some people pretend to be good, but they are not. I asked them if they were mad at me too and they said "no."
I insisted to do all the paperwork AFTER he proposes to me, but he wanted to have the papers done first so I let him do it his way. Obviously he didn't worry much about my feelings. He is a selfish and inconsiderate.
I am devastated, but most of all, I am humiliated and ashamed. I hate him and never want to hear from him again. I told him it's over and that he will never see me again. He chose that option. His whole explanation was that he wasn't sure so he shouldn't do it. I told him to better be sure about never seeing me again, because that's what he will get. He obviously liked that option.
On top of all, he had the nerve to tell me that he loves me and that there was no doubt about that. He probably thinks I am an idiot. But he is the idiot for losing me, because he will never find a woman like me again, he knows that already. As my friend said: "When you love someone, there is nothing that can stop you from being with them and you cannot be unsure about whether to be or not to be with that person!" Wise girl.
In any case, I am happy he showed his real face now and not later. He is
disrespectful towards me and my family (otherwise he wouldn't be such an ******* to all of us - he also tried to fool my mom and my ex-husband); he is
unreliable (his word means less than dog's sh*t); he is a
liar and pretender (he lied to me about his feelings and intentions), he is
indecisive (I like strong and decisive men who chase after me, I hate whimps); he is
selfish and insensitive (he doesn't care how I feel now and didn't respect my desire to propose first, but made me schedule everything first) and most of all this proves that he
doesn't love me! So there is no space for him in my heart or life anymore. I hate liars!!! He (I mean the image of his pretending) was obviously too good to be true - he just wasn't what he represented himself to be. He doesn't deserve a woman like me.
I wrote this to let you know what happened and perhaps some of you can learn something from my experience. You are welcome to bash him as much as you want (it will be music to my ears).
You don't have to console me that he probably loved me or that he will come around. No, thanks, I definitely don't want this liar back in my life ever again!
I also know now that he didn't love me.
Even if he would propose to me now or beg me to be with him, he could change his mind after 5 minutes. Or even worse, I would move to another continent with both my children and he would kick us out after a few days or weeks just because he wouldn't be sure he made the right decision (as another of my friends said: it's better that he did it now than later). If I can't trust someone, I can't be with him. Period. I can't be with someone whose word means nothing. I want to know that I am loved, not live in fear of being dumped (my ex-husband left me after I gave birth to our two sons so I am kinda traumatized when it comes to this matter).
But really, what comes around, goes around. Anyone who rejects happiness deserves to be unhappy. Soon enough I will get over and be ready to love again.
Case closed.
He got cold feet again!
What a jerk!
Yes, I have my wonderful children and parents, a few friends who support me and console me and quite a few good online friends. I dag out all my old friends and now I really feel much better. Plus I have my dancing and dancing partner too. 
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