Okay, I will make it short. My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years, been together 6 months before got married. He’s 24 and I’m 23. Here is our story.

My husband likes to joke and play lots, doesn’t like to take anything seriously even though we’re in a serious situations. I am, on the hand, a serious person, like to take things seriously because that how I was brought up. I am the oldest and among three, born and raised in Asia. Life in the old day was very tough, took care of sister and brother and other things when my mom was away for work. So now I am married and to see him acting like little kid make me feel left out. Another thing is that whenever we have problem, he just doesn’t want to talk it out or face it instead he acting like nothing was wrong at all. We fought lots, verbally and physically abused but that the past, physical abused was pushing and pulling, but now is no more. Now the new problems arise, two days ago while I was at work, he called and told me that he can’t take it anymore. He doesn’t want to be with me and want to leave. He will pack once he gets off work, supposedly he got out around 1:30 and I was around 4. He was supposed to pick me after work because we have only car. He is in the Navy and you can imagine how hard it is to share car when two people are working, sometimes our work schedules are interfering but everything was fine we worked through it, some complaints from both but nothing serious. Now two days after he left he called me this morning to ask if I am okay, I said I don’t know. He said I need your favor, I asked what is it. He said that well, I have some stuff needed to be done and I don’t have a computer here on the ship so he needs use the computer—he is trying to mixing CD, want to send it to moonshine to see if they will buy his. He wants to become a DJ but I want him to go to school instead because that is more stable career and if he wishes to get out then he has something.

He told me the reasons he left:

I’m not happy, marriage isn't for me, I still want to have fun and I don’t want to be with you anymore. You’re verbally abused and you keep doing it even though I asked you to stop—verbally abused is usually happened when I feel upset we both verbally abused each other, I called him stupid. I want to be happy and I already made my decision. I asked him okay if that does bother you I will stop I promise. He said, “No. I’m just not happy with you anymore and you will keep doing it.” I asked him do you still love me? He said he doesn’t know. Now what should I do? I asked him to come home today instead of tomorrow I was begging him. I told him that you can sleep in a different room. First he was kind of hesitated then he said okay, but you’re not going to try to seduce me, are you? I said, “No.” He said that I would be leaving shortly after Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. I said, “Okay” Now what should I do? Please help.

[scobro]

You guys should seek a marriage counsellor or wind up another statistic of the new 24 -36 month marriages.

We did see counselor twice but it doesn't help at all. That's kind of make me mad when talking about counselor, he doesn't help us anything, just asking questions and let us talking our brain out and then what? Nothing, no help, no solution but I can't tell you what you should do, it is all going to be your own decision.

We did see counselor twice already, nothing is getting better, counselor has not help anything, just sitting there write down whatever we both say. I don't know what to do anymore. I emailed today to tell him that I miss him and wish he was home and asked him to take care of himself. I then emailed him a second one asking him to tell me exactly what he wants: marriage or divorce because I hate it when he hangs me there without answer. I asked him to tell me if he hangs me there to be his sparewheel or for him to go and screw around on me. I asked him how long do I have to wait, weeks, months, years? I just him to be honest with me, it might be hurt like the hell but I rather hearing it then not hearing it so I know which way I should go next. I want him to put it all on the plate. He did reply the first one and said, "I'll don't worry okay." He didn't reply the second one which is more important and all the answers I need to know.