Crap, 2 men interested in dating me at the same time...

Angelina1433 · 21st November 2005, 8:14 PM

So, I'm in a bit of a pickle. If any of you have read any of my previous posts, you'll remember that there was a man that I was crazy about but he seemed to dismiss me because we work together. Now, all of a sudden, he's confessed that he's crazy about me and wants to date me! We went out a few nights ago and had a fantastic time.

The problem is that I've been seeing this other guy who is totally into me. I've told him from the beginning that I wasn't interested in being his girlfriend, but I know that he wants me to be. We also discussed that I date other guys.

I'm distraught because I want to be honest with the man that I've been seeing for a few months, but at the same time, I don't want to hurt him. If I've already told him that I see other men, do I have an obligation to divulge? And another thing - if the new man wants to be my boyfriend, I'm all about it...

Rickymoemoe · 22nd November 2005, 5:37 PM

As long as your sort out your feelings for whichever one in the end you like and forget the other I see no problem in it.

Hell my sister is bringing two guys to Thanksgiving dinner, but I know when she makes her choice its so long and goodbye to the other guy.

The whole point of dating is for women to find men they want to be with, while is may seem strange date more then one person I don't see any problem in it. However when you realize one of them is "the one" you need to make some bigger commitment to the relationship.

kitten chick · 22nd November 2005, 5:41 PM

The guy that you work with is unstable. He'll leave you hanging somewhere down the line just like all of the other women. Plus, you still work with him.

IMO, stay with the guy you've been dating for a few months.

d'Arthez · 22nd November 2005, 5:46 PM

Ditch the guy from work. He is not worth it, as his actions in the past have shown.

Yamaha · 22nd November 2005, 5:51 PM

Quote:

I'm distraught because I want to be honest with the man that I've been seeing for a few months, but at the same time, I don't want to hurt him.

Wishful thinking. If he is into you as you say he will be hurt. There is no way around his feelings. Honesty is the best policy. If you truly do not want to be his g/f then tell him before he gets even more emotionally involved. Think about what you want before you burn the bridge. Once you tell him your friendship is over ( most likely ).

Angelina1433 · 22nd November 2005, 9:45 PM

Interestingly, the girls say to get rid of the work guy, most of the men say it's OK to date both.

I'm at an impasse. I really want to tell both of them what's going on. It's eating me up inside. I've had a stomach ache all day.

slubberdegullion · 22nd November 2005, 9:47 PM

Rolaids work for me.

Seriously... tell them both the truth. This will do 2 things:

It will ease your conscience; and,
Their responses may give you a better inclination about their respective personalities.

You can't lose.

mental_traveller · 22nd November 2005, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelina1433

So, I'm in a bit of a pickle. If any of you have read any of my previous posts, you'll remember that there was a man that I was crazy about but he seemed to dismiss me because we work together. Now, Tall of a sudden, he's confessed that he's crazy about me and wants to date me! We went out a few nights ago and had a fantastic time.

The problem is that I've been seeing this other guy who is totally into me. I've told him from the beginning that I wasn't interested in being his girlfriend, but I know that he wants me to be. We also discussed that I date other guys.

I'm distraught because I want to be honest with the man that I've been seeing for a few months, but at the same time, I don't want to hurt him. If I've already told him that I see other men, do I have an obligation to divulge? And another thing - if the new man wants to be my boyfriend, I'm all about it...

This one's easy - if you don't care much about losing your job, then go with the new man, and dump the other guy like a hot potato. If you care about your job, then ignore the new man, and dump the other guy like a hot potato - then find another guy you like as much as your colleague.

mini696 · 23rd November 2005, 12:28 AM

They both like you... So pick the one you are interested in.

Angelina1433 · 23rd November 2005, 5:47 PM

I was honest last night with the man that I've been seeing. He was incredibly understanding and told me that he knows we are not exclusive and no matter if I go out on dates with other guys, that can't take away what we have. And he's right.

I guess what I'll have to do is be honest with the new guy and tell him that I'm also dating other guys. If he's not into it, then I'm done. If he is, then that's great and I can figure out what I want.