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Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

 
 
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Old 21st November 2005, 1:51 PM   #1
Brittanyjean06
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is this normal?

i know my ex is out of my life for good, i meen for good no contact forever......

3 months ago we had a bad break up, and a week later he went straight for another brittany...this was hard to handle hard to go back to school with all the comments....

each month i herd something different, its like i kept gettin knocked down again 1st it was her comments about me, hearing him moving, and finding out the other day they moved out of state...

im still in total shock, im in so much pain, as everyone here is......and i do beleive our relationship was very unhealthy....ive gotten all the advice i could, herd it all ...it is up to me now,, but is that normal? are those rebound effects? i just want to go up to him and be like' WHAT ARE YOU DOING, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING"......but he will never talk to me again......

i guess nc is good, and out of site out of mind.....some people are just werid...he always did werid unexpected things to me.......and this is just shocking.....is that normaL?.....to just get a new gf and leave out of state.......................
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Old 22nd November 2005, 10:49 PM   #2
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eh okays......
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Old 22nd November 2005, 10:55 PM   #3
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Well you don't know why he moved but you shouldn't worry about it. It's not your concern now and you will get to the point where you don't really care what the heck his weird @ss is doing. here's a *hug* for good measure.
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Old 22nd November 2005, 10:58 PM   #4
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thank you! its just werid how someone does something soooooo unexpectily and your just shocked.
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Old 22nd November 2005, 10:58 PM   #5
slubberdegullion
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brittanyjean06
...is that normaL?.....to just get a new gf and leave out of state
People deal with loss in many different ways. After the breakup of my first marriage, I took 6 months off and literally travelled around the world. It changed my life, and made me a better person. (Got laid too!)

Others withdraw and fall into a depressive sulk. Still others go do crazy stuff.

So what's "normal" is pretty much dependent on the person.

Given the fact that this dude and you are no longer together, it's no longer your concern anyway. But if I were to lose someone as attractive as you, I'd probably move too, to try to leave the heartbreak behind. It wouldn't work, of course, but that wouldn't stop me from trying.
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Old 22nd November 2005, 11:09 PM   #6
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That is the best thing that could happen for you is that he moved. It will make it just that much easier to forget him. After a while I think with enough distance you get over an emotional hump and then it gets easier. One day you will wonder what the hell you saw in him
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Old 22nd November 2005, 11:16 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slubberdegullion
People deal with loss in many different ways. After the breakup of my first marriage, I took 6 months off and literally travelled around the world. It changed my life, and made me a better person. (Got laid too!)

Others withdraw and fall into a depressive sulk. Still others go do crazy stuff.

So what's "normal" is pretty much dependent on the person.

Given the fact that this dude and you are no longer together, it's no longer your concern anyway. But if I were to lose someone as attractive as you, I'd probably move too, to try to leave the heartbreak behind. It wouldn't work, of course, but that wouldn't stop me from trying.


thats incredibly nice, thank you.. i feel its not the environment you shoudl change...but the mind set!

he left with another girl, its none of my concern i just hate that hes so willing to move on and me being stupid as crap would probaly take him back after all this, first break up is the hardest


thank you both for your replys! i know one day i will look back, but no1 said it was easy
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Old 22nd November 2005, 11:20 PM   #8
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Its good he moved so you will never run into him.Its messed up what he has done I couldn't do that to someone I loved noway it's not in my nature, thats why I have a hard time knowing people can.
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Old 22nd November 2005, 11:29 PM   #9
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Yes, of course the first breakup is the hardest but just think, it only gets easier from here. You got your closure, he's with someone else now. One day when she dumps him (taking literary licence here) and he's heartbroken you'll have moved on to prince charming
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Old 22nd November 2005, 11:42 PM   #10
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You are fortunate that he's moved away...you'll be spared any unexpected run-in with him. It's sad that people chose to end relationship but take the low road, and do it so callously. Naturally, you're shocked you were afterall in a relationship with him. It's out of your control his action..He's out of your life and though you're dealing with this as best you can, you're reaction is understandable, but put it aside...your main focus now is on you.
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Old 23rd November 2005, 12:03 AM   #11
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Brittany- sorry I didn't see your post yesterday or I would've been there.
I am really sorry your going through this and it is bothering you this way.
I want to tell you a story of when I was your age w/my 1st love (whom I still to this day think of, just in a different way)he will always be in my heart and I will always have a special place for him. To this day I still thank the girl (my x-friend who took him).

I saw you yesterday ask for someones im address if you have aol im give your address I'll tell you all about it.

smile big, and big hugs
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Old 23rd November 2005, 2:53 PM   #12
Brittanyjean06
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thank you so much for the support everyone! it does help, but at the time of course it feels like torture.....it was a very unhealthy relationship......and i know its out of my hands now!

my email is brittanyjean259@yahoo.com i would love to here your story.....


will i always have an ache for him? i want to love again, and when i do thats probaly when the hurting will stop and go away......it just doesnt seem right that this is happen it doesnt seem okay to just never talk to him again....even though that is what hes doing...


but thanks for everything, im starting to learn how life really is....and it sucks to have your hopes shatterd
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Old 23rd November 2005, 3:08 PM   #13
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brittany-
I wrote down the address I'll write more later. For right now just know you seem like a beautiful person and you will have no problem finding someone that deserves you and will make you happy and treat you right.

You are young and there will probably be a ton more guys in your life before you find the right one, thats why right now what is important are the things that are for real and for right now, such as your schooling, college, your future career and your family. Focus on those things to keep your mind off of the past.

You will be just like me and I'm sure so many others and ten years from now your will probably always hold a special part in your heart for him, but your whole life will be so much different than it is now, so many changes and experiences you won't believe or remember the pain you feel now, I promise you trust me.

You have to not dwell on it and let it go to heal.
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Old 23rd November 2005, 4:53 PM   #14
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thank you i will defiently do that, it wont be easy... but i will do that i know im very young its just werid because this experience i am going through has showed me what life is like, and growing up its kinda werid feels like only yesterday i was still in 8th grade......


i will be looking forward towards reading your story thank you
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Old 23rd November 2005, 4:57 PM   #15
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Being a teen is tough BrittanyJean, I wouldn't want to go back there. Unfortunately it's necessary to go through that time and have the experiences you're having now. You'll take all of the lessons you've learned with you and grow into a well rounded person that knows how to handle life and all it throws at you. Growing pains are tough but I know you'll come through the other side of them.
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