Crush on a teacher???

Tattoo4u · 13th November 2005, 5:53 PM

I know this has been asked time and time again....I have a huge crush on one of my teachers and don't know what to do. I've been out of the dating scene for a while and think I'm making a complete ass of myself. I think I'm flirting, but he may think I'm crazy. I think he's flirting, but could be way off. What is wrong with me??? He's all I think about. Should I just let it go? I should just let it go...

PS: He's a recent grad of the master's program and only teaching on the side - like a teaching assistant. Oh, and he's only 1 year older than me.

Tony · 13th November 2005, 8:15 PM

If your teacher has ethics he will not act on any crush he may have on you until after the term and you are no longer in any of his classes. However, once you finish up the class, you should definitely express to him the attraction your feel and that you would be interested in getting to know him better.

I promise you this happens to him many times but he may consider you special. Otherwise you are in an environment where there are lots of other potential objects for your affection and you can move on if he shows no interest.

For now, keep your distance. If other students sense something going on, the situation will be reported for the potential of you having unfair advantage in the class. He could also get reprimanded or terminated for dating one of his current students.

Proceed with caution.

Tattoo4u · 13th November 2005, 9:31 PM

[quote=Tony]I promise you this happens to him many times but he may consider you special. Otherwise you are in an environment where there are lots of other potential objects for your affection and you can move on if he shows no interest.QUOTE]

Thanks for your advice Tony. I'm not so sure about it happening many times, though. There are about 4 really hot girls in my class who make fun of him and think he's a dork. I'm attracted to dorks, I guess. I've learned my lesson from dating the "abercrombie and fitch" model-type.

I will, however, keep this secret to myself. Probably even after the semester's over in 4 weeks. I wouldn't even know where to begin. And don't have the self-confidence to make the first move. Not to sound cocky...but I've never had to before

Thanks Again.

glittergurl · 13th November 2005, 11:04 PM

Oh, I've been there, done that. I had the biggest crush ever on my English teacher back in the good ol' days

Oh my, I was head over heels, and he wasn't helping much by flirting back like he did. I was seriously disturbed!! lol

He was a real gent though, never crossed the line, never did anything wrong, and nothing ever happened. I used to think it sucked, but now I look back and think that was the best thing. It would have been totally screwed up if he had let anything happen.

Seriously, now I look back and realize I was wayyyy too vulnerable, naive, and unrealistic about it all. It was a cool feeling, and a bunch of crazy fantasies, and it's a really fun time to remember; but it could have turned into a nasty nightmare if things had gone the way I wanted them to go.

So, what I'm saying is; keep it to yourself. Try to slowly get over it, and don't do anything stupid. He may only be one year older, but it's still not right. You're in a vulnerable position, and that vulnerability can really make your head spin and mimic the feeling of being in love quite well.

Tattoo4u · 13th November 2005, 11:42 PM

Glittergurl: Why could it have been sooooo bad?

glittergurl · 13th November 2005, 11:57 PM

Because he was my teacher, and I was his student. Maybe it wouldn't have felt like it in the beginning, but I would have eventually realized that he would have basically taken advantage. I was so naive, and being somebody's student puts you in a pretty submissive position to begin with. If anything had happened, I would probably look back at it now and feel used.

I have way more respect for him now, knowing that he could have but didn't, and acted like a real gentleman instead.

glittergurl · 13th November 2005, 11:59 PM

Also, you may feel like it's love, but it's plain lust.

Tattoo4u · 14th November 2005, 12:16 AM

I definitely know it's NOT love. I know it's lust....big time lust. And I know it's probably because I recently ended a long-term relationship. But this guy is giving me more attention than my boyfriend had in the last 2 months of our relationship. I know it sounds like I'm trying to make it sound OK, but I'm really just trying to sort things out.

Is it still wrong after the class is over in 4 weeks? Also, he's a teacher at a junior college (where I'm taking just this one course) and I'm a student at the University. AHHHHHHH!!!!!