[SadBabyGirl]

It sure feels and sounds like it lately. Been in LDR for 12 months, saw eachother about 3 times this year, time frame about every 3-4 months and saw eachother only 5-10 days. His family does not like me. His friends do not like me. All of these people whom he is close to and if we got married I'd probably have to deal with. Im expected to save money for our future together. Im expected to make all the visits now, he cannot visit me due to his disability. He paid for all of our visits before but now fell into debt. I feel so aggravated. Its like he cant cut the apron strings for us to be together. And I really truly love him.

I keep feeling sad like, what should I do, should I stay with him just because I love him and feel frusterated/sad/lonely all the time? The only way we can be together is if i bust my booty getting a job full time and saving a lot of money coz he wants to live and stay in a wealthy area. Ultra conservative mom doesnt want me to move into their family home even if we got married (i couldnt stand living there anyways) and if we move out together, the rent and bills will be sky high. Im not even finished with college yet. Ive been so busy full time trying to get my bachelors/masters, I cant work because I wanna keep my GPA high so I can go to a good Uni. to become a clinical psychologist. So many things are driving me crazy tonite. I have that nagging gut feeling, lump in throat. I feel like something is not right, wrong, or just ya know... nervous? I dont want to end this, he means so much to me. But sometimes I feel like, just because you love somebody doesnt necessarily mean you will be in a relationship with them. Anybody ever feel like this? The worst part is the frusteration, lonliness and the thought that im putting all the eggs in one basket and not happy, even though i love him.

[newbby]

a relationship takes work from both people. it sounds as though you are doing all the work and making all the compromises. dont jeapoardise your studies by taking on work. what are his disabilities? does he need to be living at home? can he not work? tell him that you love him but that you need to finish your studies and cannot take on more work now. talk about a compromise and a solution. you are not doomed, but you may have to wait longer than you wanted to for the relationship to be where you want it to be.

[Outcast]

just because you love somebody doesnt necessarily mean you will be in a relationship with them.

You got it exactly right. You are well on your way to a bright future; don't mess that up to accommodate this person. You both need to accommodate you until you have your career underway.

[ohcrapnotagain]

Thats sounds nasty.. I agree with the two posts above, you do have to have an equal relationship so that neither side feels dissatisfied, it seems that you are down this road already...
You sound like a smart, committed person and I hate to sound like your typical grown-up but, if you are still in university or pre-university there are so many more guys that will throw themselves at your feet in the next few years, I realise you love this current chap, but what about dating someone who respects you for who you are, will treat you as you deserve and make you feel wanted?
I fully believe that given time, the right people will find each other and when that happens, you'll just know it's right, nothing will bug you and all will be well.
Good luck sadbabygirl,
B

[SadBabyGirl]

Yeah I mean, hes a good guy and all. When I visit him we connect on every level, hes got a very good heart. But because of his disability he has limitations. Get this. He has a neuromuscular disease. I vowed many times I will come down and help take care of you i said , but I do not know why his mother like doesnt want me in her house! Even if she did, I wouldnt want to be there coz she'd constantly rant and rave and push her religious beliefs on me. He gets pretty decent money every month because of the disability (SSI) plus In home supportive financial money that his mother collects off of him (bingo).... SO with that said you can probably see where this is going. Im sure if I had a decent paying job and we lived together combined income it would work out. But at this rate... nothing is happening. Im going to go visit him for 3 weeks in Dec before christmas. Im not gonna drop him completely, I care too much. But at the same time, while Im not with him, I think I should just focus on my studies and if another Joe comes along, why not go out to a movie or a cup of coffee. Im putting my life on hold for my sweetie... and nothing is happening. I mean he hasnt even proposed marriage. He says we cant get married till we are financially stable. Wtf is that? its been a Year.....I mean ok... I dont find nothing wrong in getting married and in the meantime saving up so that we will be stable. No? I dunno

iM YOUNG i need to live life.. I somehow dont feel shamed in doing it either. Im yes, educated, intellegent, been told im very attractive and down to earth. The one thing I love about myself is that Im very humble. I dont act conceited and act like I'm all it and then some coz I know nobody is perfect and its imperfect for me to judge myself or others. I just havent many friends at the moment.. because I live in an isolated suburb still with my family. I find that the (internet) isnt exactly the best of place to meet new friends. But Loveshack helps me get this off my chest. . .