[honesteg]

Okay well this could be a bit complicated. I met a wonderful man about seven months ago while I was involved with another guy in a Long Distrance Relationship. We hit it off immediately and soon were spending lots of time on the phone, online, seeing each other, and having mind-blowing sex. I am not exaggerating at all, that's what he felt too...
He knew all along that I was not looking for a serious long term relationship. Four months after we met, my LD bf was moving to town as planned. And I finally summoned up my courage to tell the new guy that the reason I was not looking for an LTR was my long-distance bf and that now that he is coming back to town I think I should give it a fair chance, and be with him and see where the relationship was going. He was great about this, repeatedly said he supports whatever I do to be happy, and said that he has strong feelings for me. For three months I tried to work out an already strained relationship with my bf, and in the end reached the conclusion that I was unhappy, and had been for a long time, and it had nothing to do with the new guy since he was no longer sexually involved with me. So I broke up with him.
A month before the break up i asked the new guy how he felt about me and he said his feelings had not changed from day one and he still enjoys being with me, and fantasizes about our past sexual encounters...

I told new guy about the break up a week later and suggested that we get back together. He said, "he will think about it."
I was kind of baffled by this, did not know what he was thinking about at all. we still spoke on the phone and today, after 10 days, I saw him for the first time for lunch. things were normal and in the end, walking home, i asked if he was still thinking about things and he said yes and that he had been preoccupied with work and the play he is going to direct and that he wanted to think about us exclusively. i said that i am not trying to pressure him or anything but that i don't know what he is thinking about. he did not elaborate. in the end i had to leave and he was really nice and touched me on my neck and we hugged.
i am still baffled and don't know what to do...should i wait ? talk to him? not talk to him? ask him more questions? leave him alone for a while?
And WHAT is he thinking about?
I feel a bit let down, and am trying not to feel hurt that he has to think this long.....
thoughts??

[Reckless]

Weeelll,

there's a lot in this ol' pot. So it could be a few things - dunno what it is but...

you gave the guy mindblowing no-strings attached, not looking for commitment sex. This is every guys fantacy. Problems could be that you now have offered to swap from being his fantacy woman to an everyday, string carrying, bring in the garbage household variety. He may really like you but he has to figure out if that's what he wants.

Also, you effectively dumped his ass after using him for sex and then came back when you were good and ready. Could be he was a bit hurt by that although he didn't let on - in fact it would be normal to be hurt at least a little. He may be wondering how much he can rely on you. He may not want to jump in eager as a puppy now you've decided you're through with the other guy.

Or he may not have been in the least bit bothered you went off with another guy. If he was all 'go, you have my blessing - I'll miss the sex but I want you to be happy' about it, maybe he just wasn't that into you.

In any case, guys do tend to do it first and think later so, if he's thinking give him time. He knows you're available and willing. If he's that into you, he won't chance you being snapped up by someone else!

[honesteg]

just to clarify...this is actually a gay situation....so now women involved...

[Reckless]

Well, then change all the gender references... I stand by every word no really, when people (men or women, gay or straight) say they need time to think they always mean...

a) they're not into you

b) they've found someone else

c) they're having second thoughts

d) they need time to think

R.