[ginger1]

I don't even know where to begin with this. I'm so extremely frustrated and confused. Ok, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now. He has no parents, no family, and very few friends for support. We just recently moved out of our apartment and in with a mutual friend to try and save some money. He is employed, but has not owned a car since I've known him, which means that I drive him to and from work, not to mention dropping off his 2 children at their mothers every weekend. Lately he's been acting extremely depressed and just plain crappy. I asked him yesterday what was wrong and he says he's upset because we don't have sex everyday and when he wants it, he has to beg for it. The problem is, he ALWAYS wants it and if I don't feel like it he treats me like garbage and puts me down. I try to make him happy any possible way I can. I work 2 jobs, I've taken us on 4 vactions and spent thousands of dollars to make him happy, not to mention giving up all of my friends because he doesn't like me to go out. This has happened on more than one occasion and everytime I try to talk to him about it, he just ignores me or makes continuous comments that "if I loved him, I'd have sex with him whenever he wants." I don't want to give up on him, but I don't feel like a girlfriend, I feel like a w*ore. He does have moments when he can shock me and really make me feel loved, but I think times like these outweigh them. I need help. Should I not give up on him (he's completely alone), or should I throw in the towel and find someone who actually loves ME for ME. And if I should leave, how should I do it? PLEASE help me. I NEED some advice DESPERATELY.

[mazza32cott]

Hi Ginger

I can feel for you because I have been in that situation. My husband wanted sex all the time. I was with him for 20 years and I can tell you that 14 of those years were bad. He treated me like total crap when he didn't get sex.

You need to do what you feel is right. I wish I had left him a very long time ago. I hung in there but that was because I had kids. I wish I hadn't done that now. It doesn't change. It gets worse. You get to the stage where you can't handle sleeping with them yet you know you are capable of intimacy.

My ex ended up cheating, and it wasn't even though he wasn't getting any.

I am SOOOOOO happy, I am finally over him. The thought of sleeping with that man makes me sick.

Don't feel sorry for him. It's not your fault that he doesn't have many friends. Put you first, please. Seems there's other problems in your relationship too. Why does he not have a car if he's working. What does he spend his money on.

My ex was a selfish man and he too expected me to make sure we were fine financially. Don't spend your life like I did. Get out if you are not happy.

Maz

[ginger1]

Just to quickly clear things up, my boyfriend doesn't make alot of money at work (I actually see his check stubs), but he spends about 75% of it on child support for his 3 and 5 year olds. So he claims he can never save money because of that.

[mazza32cott]

Check the laws where you are, there is no way it would be 75%.

Are you sure you are not with someone who is just a man who will never be happy. I was. He will blame you for everything that goes wrong in his life.

If you don't feel like having sex with him then sad to say it is over.... Drag it on long as you like...

Maz

[ginger1]

His child support doesn't go through the courts. I probably exagerated slightly with that anyways he brings home about 290 a week, and gives her about 120. The rest goes to pay his portion of the rent and buys his cigarettes (and any video games or cd's he wants, he NEVER saves any).

[mazza32cott]

So now you have someone who is never going to be happy, who will be depending on you financially and cares more about sex than your feelings...

Does that not tell you something?

Maz

[downcydeguy]

The problem is (besides him being a loser), that you're too nice! You're so worried about HIS problems that you ignore yours! My father cheated on my mother sooo many times throughout my childhood and she would always tell me that she couldn't leave because of my brother and I plus he didn't have anywhere else to go. Well she finally wisened up after 13 years and made him hit the road. She's been happily married to my stepfather for 15 years now.

So you see, you only get one life, and YOU need to take care of YOU first. You don't deserve to live in misery just to make him happy. And honestly, it doesn't sound like he'll ever be happy - no matter what you do or sacrifice.

Deep down you know what you need to do at this point. If he refuses to talk seriously about the issue, kick him out.