My GF and I have been dating for 3 months, we are having an LDR and aren't dating any others, we both trust and love each other, talk every day and see each other at least one week out of each month, we are talking about the future but are taking it at a good steady pace.
Issue one:
She has a number of X's that she is friends with and they visit her from time to time (I don't have much issue with this), however she has told me that if they stay at her place she lets them sleep in her bed with her rather than on her couch (no sex and she doesn't sleep naked), this I have an issue with. She didn't have a big problem in the future having them sleep on the couch but thought it odd that I would feel uncomfortable with that situation. What do you all think?
Issue 2:
She visits an important X from time to time, that relationship mutually ended a number of years ago and they have remained the best of friends. They have been maintaining a habit (that they started when dating) of taking a bubble bath together while they catch up and chat. She told me about this very early in the relationship and at the time I thought it was quirky, but cute. Now that I am in love with this girl I am not sitting so well with this and have told her that the naked bath routine doesn't work for me. Again she felt surprised that this would make me uncomfortable. She has said that she needs to think about this one, but that in the mean time would not do it. So, am I the only one here that thinks this isn't OK behavior?
I don't think you're over reacting at all. The sharing a bed thing - well not great but not too bad IMO. My EX had lots of female friends and sometimes they'd sleep in the same bed as him, this generally didn't bother me until one friend traveled to another town to see my EX and they slept in the same bed. For some reason the purpose in it really got to me. I think it's espcially hard when you DON'T get to sleep with them often (ie LDR) or you're not having sex and so the non-sexual bf/gf actions are of much more importance. You want cuddling in bed to be something only the two of you share.
The naked bubble bath thing is IMo HUGELY off colour and so not right. Why the HELL do they need to get naked and snuggle in a bubble bath? i would be EXTREMELY uncomfortable with that.
Yes, thanks cor confirming the bath thing, I agree and think that there are many other ways that they could share their time. I just hope she sees it that way as well.
It really doesn't matter if there's no sex involved. The point is that you've made it clear that it makes you uncomfortable (who wouldn't be in your shoes?) but she doesn't seem to give a whit. To me, that shows a real lack of respect for your feelings.
If the roles were reversed, she'd have every right to be upset.
I havn't heard of a dedicated trip since I've been dated her, this came up now as she is on her way back to LA from Seattle and is stopping over for a visit.
The only important thing is that you are not ok with it. I personally wouldn't be either. Being naked with another guy in a bath? When's that last time you did that with a girl and didn't get funky with it? I would guess that there's problems ahead for you two.
I agree with SD guy, a big issue here is that you voiced a concern that she isnt sure she wants to comply with.
I can personally say I have NEVER taken a bubble bath with a guy that didnt end in some sort of sexual action. I would be surprised if they are taking happy little platonic bubble baths. The only platonic bubble baths are for kiddies.
Have YOU taken bubble baths with her? And is she sleeping in this guyes bed when she goes to see him? These are BIG red flags. Big waiving flags.
Keep an open dialogue, and open eyes. Perhaps shes willing to relinquish all these 'quirky' habits with ex's but if not its time to find a girl that ONLY wants you in her bathtub and bed, cause thats what you deserve.
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