[Jenny317]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 months and at my school a lot of guys like to touch on me, but i live in Joliet and he lives 30 minutes away from me so he doesnt go to my school, well he tells me all the time about how many girls like him, and all these girls that are all over him and try to kiss him! I hate it! And when I tell him I am going to hang out with my friends, he says "are they boys?!?!" and sometimes they are so i lie to him saying "no" and he hates a couple of my chick friends, my bestfriend met him at my camp while my boyfriend and I were dating, before that bryan hated her so much and my bestfriend hated him, when they met, I introduced them both and my boyfriend couldnt keep his eyes off her!! It drove me crazy, and now they are really good friends!! Everytime i mention one of my guy friends, he goes bolistic on me!! He said "do i hang out with girls behind your back?!?!" and i always tell him it is okay if he does because i trust him not to do anything stupid... i dont know what to do anymore!!! When i am with him and my cell phone rings he picks it up, not me!!! I need help!

[d'Arthez]

It seems like a classic case of double standards. Why does he hate the idea of you hanging out with guys? Is it an issue of trust? Is he afraid of losing you to another guy? My guess is the former, as his behavior around girls is not consistent with that.

The next question is, why does not he trust you? Assuming you do not become an item when you cheated on a prior partner, there is no logical reason for him to distrust you. In short it points to his issues, and not yours.

That does not mean you have to put up with it. In case he will find out that you occasionally lie about with whom you spend your time, he will throw everything at you, no doubt.

The fact that he answers your phone is way beyond reasonable. You are a human being, and are entitled to have a life. And that includes privacy to answer the calls people make to you.
Could you answer his phone? No! Without a doubt. You don't have to put up with this controlling guy. There is one set of rules for you, and a different more free set of rules for him. Relationships cannot work like that. The sooner you break up with him, and kick him out of your life completely, the better.

[Jenny317]

Yes I know, I never answer his phone! He claims he don't hang out with any of his chick friends, his mom tells me everything! Girls have ben trying to get with him for like ever! And I was with him yesterday and it was 3 people, me, him, and our friend, and we went to a grave yard in morris people think it is haunted and i believe em, and they dared me to get out so i told my boyfriend not too leave me and he swore he wont, so i got out and they took off on top speed out of the place, and they left me alone for like... 5 or 6 minutes!! and I dunno, its like he dont even care!!

[d'Arthez]

It does not look good at all. His behavior, and the behavior of the friend is totally incomprehensible, if he would value the relationship he has with you highly.

He does not treat you well, and he breaks promises very easily. It is seriously time, to wonder whether or not you should be with a guy, who treats you like that. You deserve better than that. Much better.

If you would choose to try and make the relationship work, you should try to talk with him, and clearly state what your needs are, and that includes the privacy of your phone amongst other things. Be very firm about it, and don't give in, if he tries to say that all of this is innocent behavior. It is not.

And remember: it takes two people to make a relationship work - and he, to put it mildly, does not do his share for making it work.

[mini696]

Dump his double-standard, jealous a$$. He wants to control you, and do whatever the hell he wants himself.

[Jenny317]

See the only thing with that is I wanna give him a wake up call telling him what he is about too loose! Its like he has a anger problem though! I cant tell him stuff that i think bc he will get mad at me! A lot of his thoughts and actions drive me CRAZY! I tried talking to him yesterday, but when i IMed him he said "what" and "I dont wanna talk right now" and i havent talked to him in like...forever! He is so mean to me sometimes and I cant get mad at him bc if I do, he will yell at me!! He changed SO MUCH! 3 months ago when we started dating, we never fought! He was the sweetest guy in the world! Then after a couple of months I dont think I can take it!! I currently take anger management bc i need it and the lady that helps me keeps telling me to break it off bc he might attack me if I he is so cruel! She said that it is just getting worse! I know he wont! But god... im not sure what to do anymore...

[Outcast]

See the only thing with that is I wanna give him a wake up call telling him what he is about too loose! (sic)

This never works. People think that showing someone what they'll LOSE (not 'loose') will make the person magically wake up and treat them right. They're dead wrong. It never works.

He changed SO MUCH! 3 months ago when we started dating, we never fought! He was the sweetest guy in the world

The first three months of knowing someone is useless. That's when everyone is on his best behaviour. People who have serious flaws can hide them for three months. People who have anger issues can handle themselves for three months. The chemicals that your body creates when you're first in a new relationship help people with disorders and other issues to behave more normally and pleasantly.

However, between three and six months the chemicals begin to wear off and the people start acting like their normal selves. What you are seeing is not a 'change', it's the real person. Listen to your counsellor and drop this guy before something awful happens to you.

[Jenny317]

I'm afraid to dump him bc 1, i dont wanna loose him and 2, he probably wont talk to me again.. I am gunna have to try calling him again... I called his cell twice yesterday, and he would answer... i called his house and his mom told me that he was with his friend... im not sure what he is doing bc im getting so worried about him...