[Zetter]

My wife left me in September for another guy. It was both of our faults, and she was unhappy. She tried to tell me for a long time that this would happen if I didn't make efforts to change some of the things I was doing...one huge issue was my inability to talk intimately with her. I understand why she did it, although I don't condone it. I'm leaving for 3 months to work abroad, and we were all but divorced. She called me before I left and said that she couldn't sign the divorce papers and asked if I could give her some more time, and that she wanted to work on being friends to see if we could get the spark back. She is still dating the dude. I agreed, because I love her and want to get back with her and what really do I have to lose? I know, my dignity and self respect, but I'm actually OK with doing this for a little while to see where it goes. I'm probably insane, but it isn't like I'm going to lose my wife to another guy...that already happened. I told her all of this, and said she needs to figure it out sooner or later, and then it's him or me. Thoughts?

Yeah, I think this is a mistake, but it's yours to make.

I wouldn't let her get accustomed to this situation. She's having her cake and eating it too!

[Yamaha]

You were right in telling her that it's you or him. If she is serious about a reconciliation then she needs to stop seeing him and work on your relationship. Counseling would be recommended in this instance as you seem to have problems communicating with her. You need to own up the issues she raised if there is a chance of it working.

[lilmoma1973]

Sounds like to me that she is leaving you in th wing incase things don't work out with this other guy.... Cut yur losses and move on tell her to choose that you aren't waiting any longer and if she can't decide you or him them make her sign th divorce papers so you can move on .. Otherwise she will leave you hanging till she decides to come back to you!!! She wants her cake and eat it too!! Good luck hope it all works out for you!!!: