[Tangerina]

Hi, I kind of have an ongoing debate with my room mate... she thinks that all relationships start out great and lovey dovey and wonderful but are fated to turn crappy after 3-6 months... crappy as in fighting and he stops caring as much and starts being mean, stops doing sweet little things... this has been her experience... I am sure the generalization is just jaded talk because things have been so hot then cold with her current BF for a long time... like they get along just well enough to not want to split, but then every other week I am awoken at 3 am as they shout at each other in the next room.... In my first relationship I have to admit that the real meat of the relationship took place in the first year and 3 months, and then the next 2 years were just us trying to recapture the excitement because we didn't want to give up our attachment to each other even though it wasn't working...

So now I have been seeing this great guy for 4 months... he isn't perfect or anything, but he is so damn great for me, and I am great for him, and he really really wants to be with me which is such a great feeling (ex was wishy washy) and we have everything in common and laugh and have fallen in love, etc.... so every time I say something about how happy I am my room mate says "just wait another month, it's all gonna end..."

I know that after a while the "magic" fades and you get down to the real life work of trying to make a life with someone... this "reality check" isn't what I am talking about, though... because you can still keep all the good things after infatuation dies... she is actually convinced that he will basically turn mean and we will fight a lot....

Haha, I tell her that if we get past the 7 month mark (where his other 2 LTRs ended) then I've made it and I don't have to worry about things turning bad...

Are any of you out there jaded in this way? Does it always turn crappy? Why do you stick around after it does? (I know why, cuz I did, but I am curious about your experiences.....)

[Tony]

Everything happens according to your thoughts. If you think relationships get difficult after four to six months, that's certainly what will happen.

Conversely, if you think that you can work on the relationship and resolve problems as they arise, presuming you are with the RIGHT person, there is simply NO reason whatsoever why things should go south after a period.

Although often the initial fireworks and passion diminishes a bit over time, the love that is fostered by getting to know each other and experiences you share can take two mature adults who have a lot in common right to the finish line.

[Tangerina]

GOOD ANSWER! That's my thinking too, thanks for backing me up.