[jhurtinct]

Hello everyone, I've been here before a few months back when my situation began. Basicly long story short, I moved out of my home with my son and we came back to my mothers, my bf (my sons father) stayed because it is his house. We went for about a month of not speaking other than about our son.
We got back together and started couseling we've gone to 5 sessions already, I can't stand to go because I find myself not liking the way he is during the sessions, well things have been ok up until last night. Oh after I moved out he had his friend move in, I wouldn't go to the house until he asked his friend to move out, which he did and that happened about 3wks ago. My son and I have spent a few nights there, which is kind of difficult for me, because it brings back feels of that being my house and now it's not, but I try to work through that on my own.

Yesterday I had a really bad day, I went to his house in the afternoon to help him with something and we had a little agruement, he inturn told me go home then, well this really upset me because it just rubs in my face that I'm not HOME. So I inturn came home to my mothers got into a fight with her and had a few drinks, called him about 8pm to see if I could go over there to talk. He said yes but when I got there all hell broke loose.

I told him he hurt me by saying go home, and that I feel like I really don't belong anywhere, to which he responded thats your prob. what do you want me to do, to which I got even more upset and told him I was threw and left. After leaving and because of the drinks I called him back he wouldn't answer so I went back to the house, he would let me in told me again go home, I left again and called and called and called and he wouldn't answer so I went back again, and again he wouldn't let me in.

He called my brother and told him I was making a seen and my brother went to look for me (so ontop of it all now my family knows). I did go home finally but I continued to call over and over with no repsonse.

I know I acted the way I did because I drank and was hurt, problem now is I don't want to fight w/him I don't want it to be over. I haven't called him today but I don't know what to do. This is killing me, I need help, what to do? what to say? I know he hurt me but I guess I was wrong because I kind of turn crazy I think.

pls help............

[jhurtinct]

anyone got a sec to respond I really want to text or call or something, don't know if I should or even what to say..

Need your help out there

[ycagwyw]

Hi there~
Not really sure how to repond because I don't know the whole situation leading up to this episode. I can say this, your behavior was DEFINTIELY inappropriate no matter what he did. You acted like a psycho stalker. You have to take reponsibility for that. Why do you want to call? Is your goal to try and get back with this person?

[quankanne]

an apology for your drunken behavior is prolly in order -- it's hard enough dealing with a difficult situation without boozy behavior added into the mix.

what do you want from this man? What are you willing to compromise or work on to get it? Have the counselling sessions helped any with y'alls communication?

[Walk]

It does sound like all hell broke lose!

Please don't call him right now. I think you both need some cooling off and distance from this.

Do you have someone else you can call? Or go out with for a while? Someone to talk to, or at least divert your attention from calling him?

Or go somewhere you don't normally go? Get a paper and go to Panera's or a Starbucks and just sip a drink and read for a while?

You'll just drive him further away if you keep calling him. He'll think you're co-dependent, and needy, and he'll lose respect for you.

You really need to work on you, without him.

I know how badly it hurts to lose what you used to have. It tore me apart to the last time I went to see exH at the house we'd built together. I'd even carved our initialls and a heart in one of the studs in the wall. It tears you up to feel as if you are lost, and have no "home". Its not forever. It's temporary. Where you're at seems bad, but it won't last forever. Just keep breathing, it will pass. You're not alone.

[jhurtinct]

thank you all for your replies, I do need to leave it be for right now I guess.

I was wrong and I know that, I feel like maybe I should atleast send a text mess. with an I'm truely sorry, maybe?

Walk you hit the nail on the head it's very hard for me to feel like I have no where that's mine and it really hurts to be there and see what I don't have and to hear him say go home when that was our home killed me. I know I reacted the way I did because I had too much to drink, I do get kind of crazy when I drink and get upset. I vowed this morning never to drink again to try and make myself fell better, because it ALWAYS makes it worse.

Walk after being in the house again w/ your ex did you or were you trying to work on things? It just seems you can really understand how I feel.

Thank you all again.