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So, there's this coworker that I like...

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In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

Old 31st October 2005, 1:58 AM   #1
inquisitive
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Hold it! Stop! I'm already in way over my head with that, you're thinking from the thread title. Dating coworkers is a bad, bad idea, everyone knows that, apparently. I know the arguments against it, though, and I feel like I could make it work.

I'll give a little bit of background. I'm in my third year of college. I haven't had any real experience to speak of; some short-term relationships that never went anywhere, basically. I'm still a virgin. I used to really be down on this; lately, though, the rest of my social life has been busy enough to compensate for this, and I've taken the attitude that a relationship will come when it comes. I'm not shy or desperate, and I'm a mildly attractive, quiet but largely well-adjusted guy.

This girl has caught my fancy, though. I've been working at this place for 4 months. Schedules vary, and I never know who I'll be working with from one week to the next, but I've worked with her quite a bit, and we've gotten quite friendly. I've only seen her once outside of work, at a little get together I was throwing.

There are complications, of course. She is my coworker, which can lead to awkwardness, and she's also in high school. (To be fair; she's 17, I'm 19. Not a ridiculous age difference.) And she's really pretty chill, which is key. Chill enough that I could ask her out, and even if she wasn't interested, she'd find a way to say no where we could stay friendly. Or even if we started dating, we could break it off easily and casually if we had to. So that, and the fact that I can easily go weeks at a time without seeing her at work make me think I could make it work. One of my other coworkers agrees with me here.

My question, then, is how best to go about asking her out, something I've long had problems with. The way most of my friends have found people, it seems, is they become friends, go to a party, both get drunk and end up sleeping together, and decide the next day that they want to keep doing it. It's not like this girl doesn't party; still, I feel really skeezy doing this. I don't want to just "get her drunk"; she's still in high school, for God's sakes!

At the same time, when I try to ask girls on real dates, they always interpret it as a "just friends" thing. I'll ask her to a movie, we'll go to the movie, then she goes back to her place and the night's over. And that happens one or two more times, and kind of falls apart. I want to make my intentions clear. I've already seen her casually outside of work; it would be redundant to do it again (? Am I wrong on that?)

Anyways, I've got a golden opportunity later this week; it's just me and her at the store, for 5 hours. I haven't seen her in a couple weeks. What should I say to her? What would you suggest we do?

All suggestions appreciated!
Inquisitive
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