in love-? but have feelings for a very close friend

rd1978 · 28th October 2005, 6:56 PM

has anyone here been in love with someone or thaught so ,, and had a very close friend who you were attracted to and had a very close relationship with where you told each other pretty much everything, your best friend of the opposite sex, but ended up keeping the feelings hidden,you know there was always something there, and sometimes it showed ,,, im not really in this situation kinda was and its a bit different now ,{bolth single}, but just wondering how often this happens and if anyone has story's feel free

Mary3 · 29th October 2005, 3:13 AM

I feel sorry for the person you are in love with because you have strong feelings for a *friend* as well.

Big trouble.

rd1978 · 29th October 2005, 5:04 AM

well im not in love with anyone and havent been in a relationship in over a year,, so dont worry about her she doesnt exist,,, but when i did have a girlfriend i also was a little curious about a good friend of mind but it never went any farther than that....

elijahBailey · 29th October 2005, 12:54 PM

guys can usually make the jump from friends to more-than-friends, but not the other way around. Well, at least this is what I've observed. There are exceptions though.

Mary3 · 29th October 2005, 2:41 PM

To : rd~ your post is confusing. Either you are in that situation or you aren't. You can't sorta be in that situation and expect common sense advice...

rd1978 · 29th October 2005, 2:54 PM

well i wasnt really looking for advie on that situatuion,, just kinda wondering how often it happens ,, the situation im in is great friends who are bolth single,, i alwaysthaught somethign was there but it has never been acted apon because we always had bf/gf ,,i kinda know i was and from what herfriend tells me she had said there was always something ..... i wasnt entirely looking for advice i kinda know what i have to do know whether in the way of words or actions,, and i think making a move is what i have to do and speak later......sorry the post was kinda vauge wasnt really looking for to much advicei posted a post earlyer looking for some advice but havent gotten much yet

Mary3 · 29th October 2005, 3:08 PM

It would help alot if : youwouldnotrunsentencestogetherwithnoperiodsatthee nd okay ? Try to make this easier to read if you would.
You know when you finish one sentence you put a period at the end and start the next with a Cap ,.

tinktronik · 30th October 2005, 3:01 PM

Hello, about 3 1/2 years ago I moved into a new place with a roomate that I had known fr about a year.I had been dating a guy for a while and things were going smoothly.My new roomie was also a man, but much older than me se wed been friends for a while.So I moved in and things stayed the same.A year went by then a year and a half.My boyfriend proposed and I said yes and began to plan my wedding ,my rommie who was my closest friend planed with me making suggestions and even helping me pick out my dress.As the time of my wedding got closer (this would also include a move cross country) grew nearer,I began to get edgy ,but y I wasent sure. I began to have doubts and realized I was marrying out of 1.commitmentt and 2. b/c I couldent find a reason not to , I was happy in my life .Then I bagan to think about my "life" .i CAME HOME TO my rommie who I hung out with, cooked dinner with ,talked to , had mutual friends with.I dated my fiance a few times a week. In other words I was doing the normal relationship stuff with the roomie and the prerequisite stuff with the fiance.I broke it off with the fiance.Let some time pass and confronted my roomate with my feelings,it turns out he felt the same way but dident wast to push me to do anything only wanted to see me happy and if marrying the fiance would do that that was ok as long as I was happy.However we have been together for a few years now and things are wonderful.Im sure I made the right choice.Who could make a better partner than your best friend.

rd1978 · 30th October 2005, 4:46 PM

hey thanks for your response

it was nice to have an intelligent awnser ,,, what i was getting at was more or less how many people have somethig right in front of them that is so right but dont even notice it because they are just "content" im in a situation similar she was suppost to get married 2 or so months ago-- but yet broke up 3 1/2 months ago-- and yes i know im NOT rushing into anything we hang out occasionally. I know she needs her time and i told her that,, but i havent made a move or talked about anything.. Just kinda seeing if it falls into place without putting any type of pressure on her because I know she has some healing to deal with first.. It comes out i ended up talking to a close friend of her's this morning and,, a lady she works with was in an identical situation and ended up marring her best friend and said it was the best decision she has ever made.... and they talked about everything for a while,,,, and she told her not to mess this one up { meaning me} so i guess it got the wheels spinning and she admitted to her best friend that she had feelings she just hid them etc.etc. .. now she doesnt quite know I feel the same way ,, but it will be shortly that i make a move and make some comments,, and take it as slowly as possible giving her the time she needs....

tinktronik · 30th October 2005, 9:49 PM

sounds like youve got it down rd , good for you and hopefully things fall into place.Just dont rush it !

7th November 2005, 1:39 PM

Hello, I'm just browsing.

I agree that this happens a lot but i think some people let it slip between their fingers. I have been working at this job for three years. I have developed a close relationship with a co-worker. He has seen me thru two relationships. One ended badly and the other i am currently trying to let go. In the past i made a list of what i wanted in a man. What was important to me. About a month ago i found my list and read over it. Guess what? My Best friend here at work has everything I've been looking for. To make matters worse or better. He has been in love with me for a year and a half. He is my best friend and I haven't been thinking of him in any other way, so it has been an adjustment seeing him as a date/mate. But we are going to take the step of dating and we are talking about getting married. But i still have some baggage to let go of first. However i can't imagine him not being a part of my life. I just have to change the role i thought he would play. Wish me luck.