[Kengne]

OMG... I did again today, the thing I SWORE to myself I was NOT going to do - EVER AGAIN! In a rel'ship or not.

I can't tell y'all what I did... bcuz unfortunately my ex-es have been known to creep around here, and I would hate for them to find out

For example... it could have been (but isn't) - compulsive calling.... compulsive lying ... compulsive cheating *my ex-bf of 4 yrs takes the cake for that *... what is YOUR bad habit, and HOW do you break it?

My habit... is almost like an addiction. I SWEAR the feeling is that strong!!
It starts out small... a niggling feeling ... and then the feeling grows and grows... I try not to entertain the tht and can push it away... MOST OF THE TIME.

But then out SOMETIMES out of NOWHERE... like a compulsive addiction ... it swoops over me... ladies & gents, I actually experience a physiological reaction, a sweeping RUSH through my blood as if I took a drug... it is SO intense sometimes i think I'm gonna pass out... so to calm the feeling... I do 'The Habit'.... X.... and the rush/dizziness/nausea fades... and I'm left feeling calm, but terrible bcuz yet again I've caved in...

How do I kick this habit? How do you kick a bad rel'ship habit (whether or not you're in a rel'ship)?

I'm struggling with it, bcuz everytime it happens I tell myself there was NO REASON to engage in the habit and it is PURPOSELESS... but I still do it!

What gives?

K.

[glittergurl]

What are you talking about?

[Kengne]

Hi Glittergurl!

I soooooooo wish I could say, but there is a possibility that my ex-es browse this site & might one day find my posts... *as I stupidly, one day, at their insistence, told them abt this website even tho they BOTH promised to never come to it again*and... if they did that... and read the thread... I would die!!

But my question really... regardless of the habit... is HOW to break the habit?

For example, let's say it was lying (about where I'm at or who I'm with). I've done this in the past to avoid confrontation... how do you stop it?

K.

[glittergurl]

I dont know. Guess I don't really have any bad habits when it comes to my relationship with my husband. At least none that seem to bother him.

Sorry I couldn't be more helpful

[Tankgirl]

Depends on the habit or the severity. Typically counseling will help you get down to the bottom of why you do it and what you are getting out of it. You are obviously benefiting (by that I mean you are getting something you need) from this habit. The challange is to figure out what is is and how you can get it in a healthy way.

From experience counseling is an excellent way to solve this. Good luck!