[kgal]

When your husband has a female friend?

I'm just curious cuz I Have a good friend who is getting married. He loves this woman very much and has told me several times. I have met her and she seems cool..but I'm afraid that if I keep him as a close friend, she will get jealous. Should I just not worry about it?

[allaboutchoices]

I would say that if you are sincere with her and on good terms, if she gets to know you and doesn't feel like you are hiding anything, you should be OK.

[TheDiva]

No, I don't get jealous of his female friends.

As long as nothing is hidden from her everything should be fine. Marriage should be no reason to give up your friends. Many spouses are fine with the friends of the opposite sex. I wouldn't worry too much about it right now. But if you are afraid of losing his friendship prehaps you could sit them both down and talk about it? You never know, the two of you may have a lot in common and then you have made another friend.

[glittergurl]

I don't mind as long as they're fat and ugly. If they're pretty and make him laugh, then I definitely hate it

[Owl]

Kgal-

I'm not a wife (not even a woman) but I'm gonna take a shot at your question...LOL.

Take a look over on the Infidelity post for my story.

My wife had an online friend...and at first I was not jealous of him. But then I started to realize that she was chatting with this guy almost all day...so my jealousy grew. But, I wanted to treat her like an adult, and I trusted her, and didn't make an issue of it.

Then it progressed where she'd continue to chat with him online even when i came home...it began to replace OUR time together. Again, I tried to explain the problem to her, but absolutely wanted to trust her and not seem like a jealous, over-bearing husband.

After this had gone on nearly two months, I found her trying to close her chat windows so that I wouldn't be able to see the contents. I tried talking with her about my 'jealousies'...but she reassured me that he was 'just a friend'. By this time, alarm bells were now going off full blast.

I started to monitor her chat sessions that weekend, but was unable to view the logs until that following Tuesday. What I found crushed me...she was carrying a full blown emotional affair. She hadn't met this guy in person...yet. But they were now discussing meeting in person to see if 'it worked in person too'. They were both convinced they were in love with each other, even though they had never met each other...she only had ONE picture of him, and even she had no idea how old that pic could have been.

When I confronted her, she confessed everything. And then had him buy her plane tickets to go live with him...again, even though they hadn't EVER even seen each other in person! She knew he smoked (she's asthmatic...even smelling smoke on someone's clothes will cause an attack), knew he drank (she gets nauseous at the smell of alcholol)...but was convinced that they were 'soul-mates').

The good news is that the affair ended, and she never flew to live with him or to meet him. He's been out of our lives for over a year and a half now, and we're doing a LOT better. We did marriage counselling, we've worked hard to fix the issues in our marriage.

But, am I jealous of any of her male friends? You betcha...and I always will be from now on. The moment she begins to emotionally invest in ANY man outside of our marriage will no longer be acceptable...nor should it have ever been acceptable.

Perhaps that might provide some food for thought around your question?