[SilentPrayer]

Dear Love Shack,


So this story originally starts about May 16th 2003. He and I were together for a while. He left me for a job in another city but we somehow kept in contact. So he is there and I am 3 hours away in another city but he hardly calls or visits.
So I decide to move back to our hometown (We grew up in the same home town). I moved back for work and a good job. To save up for school again. So he comes back to the hometown to visit and so on. His parents live here, family etc. The same goes for me.
Well everytime he comes back here...we somehow get together ands leep with one antoher. Evertyime....we do it....we screw eachother....we sleep with one another...we wake up. I go home...and we possibly will do it again while he is here.

BUT THIS TIME!

I had a BF..."Sam" and Sam and I are new. Sam is beautiful and wonderful and just about the greatest guy i have ever dated. So the X comes back while I am dating Sam.
Me and the X talk on MSN...we argue...we called eachother names....every wrong thing in the world....we really hated one another.
I said I hated him...so much....and I dont like him anymore. After all that argueing...he says to me. Come on over...(at this point I didnt know he was back in our hometown)..I kinda blew him off...and he said " come over for a drink so we can talk about this".

I WAS suppost to go to Sams for a movie....but now the X wants to see me. What coudl I do? I went to the X's house "parents home". They were all gone..and it was just me and him.

I acted so cold to him...so distant...and all he could do was kiss me...fondle me....we was all over me ..... like in the beguining.

I had no idea what to do.....I ended up giving him head....and sleeping with him that night..and spending the night over.

Now I have to deal with a BF who is sencing that something is wrong...and an X who hasnt called me back in days.

I feel like ****...I dont know what to do.


Silent

[wanda1974]

You made your bed........

[westernxer]

Perhaps you should dump the boyfriend.

[sanne]

like the above poster said, "you made your bed......". you knew full well what would happen and you allowed it to happen when you decided to go and meet with your ex. he used you, plain and simple, and you fell for it. it's quite obvious you are not over your ex-bf so I don't think it's wise that you continue a relationship with this new guy. he will only get his feelings hurt.

[Ruff Ryder]

I know the feeling. What you should do (the right thing) tell the ex to get F@#$?& and stay with the new guy. You should however tell the new guy the situwation it might cost you the realashonship but if you dont it will consume you till the reaashonship end and it will with that type of secret.

[omegaRED]

Like Ruff said, your priority should be sorting the situation with your Ex first, meaning you either stay with him, or you dont, EVER, get back with him. You need to make a decision. And follow through with it.

And second, tell your current BF. To be honest, if i were in his shoes, i`d never want to see you again, but that`s just me. He may forgive you. But he deserves honesty, however painfull it may be.

The most important thing is that you definitely need to make a decision regarding your ex...

[NewLee40]

I usually try to give people the benefit of the doubt and understand difficult situations, but give me a break..

Are you freaking insane? Or is this a joke?

You stood up the greatest guy in the world to give a guy head that you supposedly hate?

On what planet does this make any sense at all?

What could you do? You are kidding, right?

[smile95]

if you said that "sam" is great, why the the hell would you risk messing that up with someone who left you yrs ago and clearly only wants sex from you?

Nothing more.

He is just mad that you have a new man and you may have mistaken that for him wanting you back.

[SilentPrayer]

I did tell him. He still wants to be with me. It hurt him alot. This kind of thing has never happend to him. He is a very beautiful man...like a model. So...protective...like a gentleman.
He still wants to be with me....but I can't speak or see my X again. No phone calls...e-mails..msn.
I have to be honest...and I was warned that he will notice if I change moods again like I did last time....when I slept with X. He noticed a change...and he will keep a close look @ me....until he fully trusts me again.

I don't want to lose or hurt him.....he is too precious.

I can't take my mind off of X??? Still the one I love....but I will cure it soon.

Soon...it will be "sam" I love. He earned it allready..im just waiting for the rest of my heart to think so too.

Silent~

Ps:.......I called X...and told him that BF knows....and I have agreed to never speak to him again.

his words:

Do whatever...I don't ***in care.....your trying to make me jealous...good luck...I never cared...I hate you...how could you do this to me....your going to hurt yourself with him...by christmas...you'll be in my arms crying about how he hurt you...and how much you still love me.

I hung up....but before I did...I said.."I actually really do hate you.....one day you will change...I hope you don't break too many hearts before then"...and then click~

[westernxer]

Originally Posted by SilentPrayer

I can't take my mind off of X??? Still the one I love....but I will cure it soon.

Soon...it will be "sam" I love. He earned it allready..im just waiting for the rest of my heart to think so too.

I don't see any hope here.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

Originally Posted by SilentPrayer

I did tell him. He still wants to be with me. It hurt him alot. This kind of thing has never happend to him. He is a very beautiful man...like a model. So...protective...like a gentleman.
He still wants to be with me....

Poor Sam. Like they say, nice guys finish last...

Maybe you're happier with the rough 'n' rowdy types like the ex!!

[SilentPrayer]

Originally Posted by This_Too_Shall_Pass

Poor Sam. Like they say, nice guys finish last...

Maybe you're happier with the rough 'n' rowdy types like the ex!!

I want to love the SAM type...not the mike type.

THe mike type has showed me nothing but pain.....heart ache..alot of passion..but alot of pain to match it!

[SilentPrayer]

The same type has showed me nothing but passion, intimate talks, careing huggs, "somewhat needyness", and alot of talking.

Im not an unatractive girl....I can move on quickly if If I decided to but it took me along time to get over X...and move onto another guy..and when I finally do..I fall mercy into the X's hands.

I made the wrong choice going to his house.....I was sweet talked...and no..it was not all about sex at first.......I dont know how it got turned into it.
It was insane......it was so passionate..like our first time...it was intense.

ANyhow...it's over...and now I have to deal with my BF's heartache...I have to patch it up.

Should I tell the BF that I am leaving in January for school....to the SAME city as the X?

[Rocko]

Lose Sam, for his good. If he ever came here, I would tell him to dump you in a heartbeat.

I'm trying to constructively say you need to sort your own issues out without dragging poor Sam into this. I doubt he'll ever fully trust you again (I'm guessing you and him haven't been together long).

Take this as a lesson in the pain of hurting others.

[SilentPrayer]

Originally Posted by Rocko

Lose Sam, for his good. If he ever came here, I would tell him to dump you in a heartbeat.

I'm trying to constructively say you need to sort your own issues out without dragging poor Sam into this. I doubt he'll ever fully trust you again (I'm guessing you and him haven't been together long).

Take this as a lesson in the pain of hurting others.

He does not want to end things with me. He told me over and over again not to let this ruin us. He said he thinks Im beautiful and amazeing...and all he wants is to be with me. He wants to sleep with me....when Im ready...he is very passionate..but I was taking my time sleeping with him.
He is hurt that it took so little for X to get in my pants...and he is still waiting.

I've tried to tell him he is better off alone...without me but he doesn not seam to think so.
I don't know why he likes me so much. He does however really want to be there for me....and I want to be there for him.
I've always been the one cheated on....and I should know how it feels....I dont know why I did it...but I did..and Im sorry.

I will make up for it somehow..someway....I will try. As long as Sam lets me.

As for X.......he is gone..and alone....and still wanting me....he can stay in his dark corner...trying to *** with my head...I wont look @ him ever again.

and AS FOR moving to the same city.."its a big city"...as if he could ever find me.