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Old 19th October 2005, 2:59 AM   #1
stjärna
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is he playing games?

hi all,
i need some advice.

my 5 year old had been attending a martial arts class for a couple of months. i thought his teacher was kind of cute, but didn't think anything of it.
one day, his teacher and i were talking and i revealed that my husband and i were divorcing. he immediately changed his manner of expression, complimenting me (to the point of my blushing - largely because it was so unexpected). soon after, when i would come into the studio (i was also helping the owner with some business related things) he would lean in close to say something to me, touching my shoulders, or otherwise finding an excuse to touch me (not unappropriately). he also would talk a lot about his accomplishments, etc. perhaps to try to impress me.

so i figure, ok, he likes me (the compliments, the touching, trying to impress me, etc.)

since i was working on business related things for the studio, he had to email me with some information, so i returned the email and told him that i'd like to get together some time (he is also divorced and I explained that I didn't know anyone in that situation and that i could use some advice in my current situation). he emailed back and said he would "love" to get together for dinner and told me when he is available.

so we met, had a great dinner, talked and flirted (with a fair amount of sexually related conversation, among other things). we went back to the studio where I had left my car and talked in the car for a bit; still complimenting me, touching my knee, etc. then he said that he didn't want to offend me by what he was about to say, but that he has a rule that he does not date his students (or their parents) because of the ramifications that could have for the studio. (followed by something to the effect of "or else i would be all over you"). i thought this was totally understandable and told him so. i also played as though i didn't have interest in dating and said that that i asked him out because i thought he was "safe" in that respect. next day, i emailed a quick thank you for the dinner and his advice (i also paid for dinner which may or may not have been a mistake; though he did say that he would pay "next time") and said that i'd like to get together again soon and that i hoped his "rule" didn't apply to forming friendships with people at the studio.

he didn't return the email (though i gather he's not necessarily a good emailer), and when i see him at the studio he still asks interested, though not to the same degree as he did previously. so i asked him to an event i have to go to this weekend and he declined.

so what happened? any thoughts?
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Old 19th October 2005, 12:34 PM   #2
pogi
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I think he just wants a one-night stand.
Focus on what you said immediately before he told you about his rule included parents of pupils (ie. you)
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Old 19th October 2005, 3:52 PM   #3
sheribaaby
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He wants booty. He has given himself an out with the whole "not dating student's parents" thing so if he does get some he can move right along. No one trying to really impress you would have let you pay for your first date.
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Old 19th October 2005, 3:56 PM   #4
SmoochieFace
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The fact that he dove right in with the compliments and sexual talk immediately after you told him of your impending divorce demonstrates that he was letting his yang control his mouth.

Booty call... definitely.
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Old 19th October 2005, 3:59 PM   #5
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He was looking for the quick " Bang and Run "
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Old 22nd October 2005, 5:12 AM   #6
stjarna
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wow, interesting . . . i didn't get that impression, but you all seem to be in agreement. but wouldn't a one night stand be more against "his rule" then dating someone from the studio? i thought i offended him by dropping the "friend" comment . . .
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