[unintentional]

My exboyfriend...

I cant lie...I love him to death. I miss him so much. I wish we could have been together..but he doesn't want to be with me "right now"

and we need "space"...this is all according to him..

• the problem/break up goes deeper..(if you really want to know..the thread is "i love him and he hates me..(his emails attached in post..)" ...he does know i want to be with him..and i want him in my life..no doubt about it.

I do not want him to think I abandoned him...and I do not want him to think I am just another girl...because Im not. We really did have something really special.

He still sends me emails once in a while...and it's nice..and we said we'd keep in touch..but this guy doesn't even know if he still wants me in his life...so i cant really trust him on the "keep in touch" promise..

• ...so I feel like I should just get on with my life...and in a way I want to show him that Im not as weak and clingy as he thought...I really care for this boy. I want to show him that I respect myself...
• BUT I dont know what kind of IMPRESSION he'd get from my email address no longer existing...I dont want to lose him forever..and/or have him hate me..but he does know my phone number and address..soo...

I dont know..Im really so confused and lost I dont know what to do.
It's like, I want to keep it so I dont lose him...because if I didn't have it and he ever sent me an email and it got returned to him because of a failure in sending ...I dont want him to think I hate him or he hates me...

But then I dont want to be expecting an email from him every time I look at my emails..because I do...and it kills me to see nothing from this boy I love.

[wahaha1]

I understand the feeling about this, it is really bad..., the feel is like riding a roller coaster...

I went through this too..., this actually need times to adjust..., I had to keep myself away from checking that email account (keep yourself busy and try to stay away from your computer). For phone, I chose to switch it off for most of the time...

so after a week, I started to get use of 'not expecting' anything from this guy, and I felt much better...

I still keeping his emails in my account, but I don't look at those email again, I just know I don't want to lose these memories...

[unintentional]

thankyou for replying..

it is very difficult...sometimes it seems to difficult to get through...

i think im going to delete msn IM from my desktop..that way there is no instant messaging being expected..i miss him to death..but i cant anxiously wait for his emails that will never arrive...

i hate these processes.

i'll try and keep myself occupied..maybe i just wont go on the internet for a while..or even on my computer for that matter..which sucks because i love my computer but it hurts too much. far too many memories. eh...it'll be hard.

thankyou so much.
good luck to you!

[unintentional]

Well, I guess I decided this on my own..

Im not going to delete my email account. Just my MSN Instant Messanger sign on..capabilities..I dont need that anymore.

[JosiePosie]

I hear ya, I still have my ex on MSN Messenger list. I have him blocked but can't bring myself to delete him yet. Funny thing, he still has me on his and doesn't have me blocked. Could it be a ploy?

Anywho, I made a new MSN account and gave the addy to my closest friends and siblings. If I don't feel like "exposing myself" to everyone on my list, I log on to the other account so I don't have the urge to see if my ex is online, etc.

[wahaha1]

Originally Posted by unintentional

Well, I guess I decided this on my own..

Im not going to delete my email account. Just my MSN Instant Messanger sign on..capabilities..I dont need that anymore.

Yes, inactivating the auto-signin of IM would work..
in case you don't know

go to start, run, type msconfig
this will bring up system configuration utility
go to startup tab, deselect ypager

so you won't get auto-signin everytime you bring up your machine.

Take care.

[unintentional]

...thanks for helping me out on that one.

i COMPLETELY deleted the MSN application..it's no longer even on my desktop..Im a silly emotional female...so it hurt to even look at it..because all mine and his nice and bad conversations would flash before my eyes just looking at the sign on page...so I didn't want to see it...it's completely deleted...

thankyou so much!

good luck to you as well with whatever is going on in your life. i'll be here if you need someone to vent to at any time.