In Search Of...Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.
For all the guys out there, I have a question. I'm a senior in high school and I haven't ever kissed a guy or ANYTHING. Until recently I just thought it was because guys thought I was too much like them, 'one of the boys' because I've always had guy friends, not because I dislike girls, but because up until this point guys are the only ones who have ever asked me to hang out (I have three brothers so it is what I'm used to). I have just started getting girlfriends though, and when I go to parties now, I always hear from my friends the next day that everyone at the party was into me. Great, really fantastic, the dilemma is I would have never known if these guys wouldn't have told my friends. I'm now an interested participant of the occational 'girltalk', and last night they told me that I'm really gorgeous, and guys are just intimidated by that, but when I asked one of my guy-friends he said guys were intimidated by my intelligence. so which one is it?
For everyone that is past the tulmult and peurility of high school, please go back to the past and summon up an answer for me: are guys really intimidated by girls? I think I just found out about guys interest because they were able to tell my friends instead of me, and it bugs me because I'm really easy-going and friendly so it's not like I would severly shoot them down. What else can I do to be more open, because I'm so confused about my position right now.
Try and think about when you guys were in high school, and tell me how you felt about girls that were pretty and/or funny and intelligent? Be as descriptive as possible, I need a lot of help (I'm 5'9" as well, does that play into anything?) Thanks a lot!
...last night they told me that I'm really gorgeous, and guys are just intimidated by that, but when I asked one of my guy-friends he said guys were intimidated by my intelligence. so which one is it?...
It can be both.
It's also dependent on the guy, as well as how you present yourself.
Personally, I favour tall women, and to get a tall woman that is smart and likes to discuss the issues of the day intelligently is nothing short of the epitome of allure for me.
Granted, there are lots of men who suffer from the delusion that they must be physically and intellectually taller than their mate. I think that's a shame, but at the same time that means that there are more tall, smart women available for me !
they told me that I'm really gorgeous, and guys are just intimidated by that, but when I asked one of my guy-friends he said guys were intimidated by my intelligence. so which one is it?
Lots of girls who are pretty and clever don't have any problem getting guys so maybe it's something else. If you'd said something like "my friends said that guys are sometimes intimidated by girls who are pretty AND clever" that would sound okay, but the way you put yourself across you sound like you love yourself a bit. It's okay to be honest and like yourself and know your qualities, but the way you posted sounded like you're maybe quite a boastful person, and not everyone likes that sort of thing.
Girls who are physically taller/larger than me are a little intimidating, but I'm 6' so it hasn't been an issue before.
At high school age, walking up to a girl and letting her know you're interested is a very hard thing to do. It's very scary, at least it was for me.
Maybe start letting a few guys know you're interested in them, start a conversation and be friendly, maybe it'll ease the tension a little bit and make you seem more approachable.
__________________
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega." -Brodie, Mall Rats.
If you're hot, intelligent, and it great shape with being 5'9"...it can be intimidating, especially for guys in h.s. dont forget when you add those heels it will boost you even taller.
Personally i like girls that are smart, hot and have a good height like yours. As long as you're friendly by nature, i would not find you intimidating at all. maybe h.s. boys are just a little too immature to understand.
Yea, Im in HS and im 16. I am Usually Shy around pretty hot girls. I am 5'9 and 240+ pounds. But in this new school thier is this girl ive only know for about 6 weeks, I am really starting to like her and talk to her alot in my classes, my only problem is that this is the first time ive ever never been shy around a girl majorly but her boyfriend is in jail, and most of the other girls smoke,drink and do drugs. She smokes but thats fine.
Girls who are physically taller/larger than me are a little intimidating, but I'm 6' so it hasn't been an issue before.
At high school age, walking up to a girl and letting her know you're interested is a very hard thing to do. It's very scary, at least it was for me.
Maybe start letting a few guys know you're interested in them, start a conversation and be friendly, maybe it'll ease the tension a little bit and make you seem more approachable.
yeah i am in high school, and to give you a heads up, a tall pretty girl that is intelligent is intimidating. I'm 18 and only recently have i really begun starting to initiate conversations with girls that i find attractive in either of those 3 categories if not all three. My advice as this is what i would want a girl like you to do, is simply make the first impression go over talk to the guys, if they are having trouble responding THEY are nervous, i know i really did all the wrong things when i asked out the girl i had had a crush on for a year, so if it appears they are nervous just be comfortable and carry the conversation a little bit and soon they will come out of their funk and talk to you. i wsh you the best of luck
If guys are not approaching you there is something about your personality holding them back. You are likely not aware of what it is. Tall, attractive girls in school are hard to approach for most guys because of a lack of confidence. Maybe you don`t smile at them or seem distant. Perhaps you hold back in conversation. But be patient, plenty of guys are headed your way.
If guys are not approaching you there is something about your personality holding them back. You are likely not aware of what it is. Tall, attractive girls in school are hard to approach for most guys because of a lack of confidence. Maybe you don`t smile at them or seem distant. Perhaps you hold back in conversation. But be patient, plenty of guys are headed your way.
Or simply put, they believe she's taken. which is why they've already given up.
and guys are just intimidated by that, but when I asked one of my guy-friends he said guys were intimidated by my intelligence. so which one is it?
Most guys want to approach pretty, smart girls. If they are not talking to you then you must be giving them as signal that your not interested. Be more friendly and let them know you are fun and approachable. You will then have more guys hanging around then you probably want.
They probably think they can't have you, taht you're too good for them. If you like someone specific you might try to encourage him with a smile, look, body language, ask him to dance with you or join you at some happening.
Don't worry, you'll have many men making advances at you, you'll get bored of it. The adults' world is different. Your life doesn't end in high school, you know..
High school's a tough age to be dating, especially for men; we typically don't mature as quickly as women do.
You've got two types of guys in high school:
type a: the young bucks, who are usually somewhat successful with women
typbe b: the guy who is still struggling to get on track in the dating world.
The first guy might avoid you because it would be a blow to his ego if you said "no". I remember that a lot of the time, these guys would often go for women they knew they could get. Not always true, but that was what I remembered for many guys.
The second guy might want to ask you, and might even have the gumption to do it, except for the fact that he hasn't acquired good social skills, so he might walk up to you, strike up a conversation, and then expect you to carry the conversation...while you're probably expecting him to do the same thing. Result being, it goes nowhere and he never bothers to think of asking again.
The first guy isn't necessarily expecting no, but would take it hard if that's what he heard coming out of your mouth. The second guy might actually be more willing to make some kind of weak effort but will be quickly discouraged at the first sign of trouble. He's expecting a "no".
__________________ Should have been dead on a Sunday morning bangin' my head, no time for mournin', ain't got no time -- My Own Prison, Creed
wow, thanks to the last three comments for leaving exactly what I wanted to know. Ya know, how you sort of have your suspicions, but without any second-party reassurance you can't really go with the idea? Well, now I got it. Special thanks to this guy above me, I never thought of it like that, and you gave the descriptiveness I was looking for. And I do act uninterested, it's stupid, but I just don't want someone I'm interested in to know it, and then not like me back. Thanks everyone!
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(I'm 5'9" as well, does that play into anything?) Thanks a lot!
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