Backstory:
Ok, so on Tuesday night my band practices. We practice at a place within a mile of where I work so my routine is to leave work, go to Chili's for dinner and beers, and then on to practice.
At Chili's there's this HOT bartender on Tuesday nights. The kind of hot that makes you praise Jeebus for having a penis. Merin-level hot, if you will. Every guy there drools over her. To my surprise, she's actually super nice to everyone. A lot of hot girls get all bitchy when they get hit on constantly but this girl is totally cool.
I always order chicken tacos with no sour cream and Sierra Nevada to drink. I've been going there for months now so she knows me, knows what I order, and knows my bandmates. There's this long standing joke when I place my order that she's going to give me all kinds of sour cream or screw up my order or whatever.
Dawn of a New Era:
Last week I found out she broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years a couple weeks back. I don't know why they broke up but she seems to be doing alright. Normally I wouldn't go for a chick this soon after a breakup but in this case time was of the essence.
Laying the Mack:
Last night, as usual, me, our bass player Jeff, and our keyboard player Glenn, all meet up at the Chili's bar to eat and drink. We put in our food orders. Hot Chili's Bartender (HCB) looks at me to verify my order but jokes with:
HCB: "Ok, so you're getting fish tacos."
Tanbark: "You're going to serve me a fish taco, HCB?"
She just smiles.
Minutes pass. Food is eaten. Beer is imbibed. Good times are had. So then when I get my next round I say:
Tanbark: "Ok, really quick, me and Jeff were having a debate and we were hoping you could help us out."
HCB: "Ok!"
Tanbark: "Ok, Jeff is saying that you should go out with me next weekend, but I was saying that this weekend would be better. What do you think?"
HCB: "Well, this weekend I'm (blah blah blah), and next weekend I'm (blah blah blah), soooo..."
Tanbark: "Ok, so then clearly we need to go with Glenn's suggestion which was in two weekends."
HCB: "Clearly.."
Then she walks off. She was smiling and cool the whole time, wasn't standoffish at all, but then Jeff asks, "So was that a rejection or what?"
I was stumped as well. Ladies?
__________________ I wake up in the morning and piss excellence.
You've had a crush on HCB for a while. I think that was a nice version of a rejection. I wish I could say otherwise and I've been known to be wrong on PLENTY of occasions so maybe someone else will have something more positive to say.
If she really wanted it to happen she would have suggested a day that would work for her.
Here's the light that I do see, maybe, just maybe, she's really not over her boyfriend yet and isn't looking to date right now. I would say you could try your hand at this again somewhere down the road.
Lol at the fish taco remark. Also your game here was cute.
I'm not an HCB, but I am hot, I do like Chili's and I do frequently make drinks for myself and friends to consume. So my near-expert guess is that it was a rejection, but being a bartender and a nice girl she cloaked it in a way to leave things open. You are a regular and a tipping customer, and she probably likes you on some level and doesn't want to be rough.
Of course, theres always the chance she is interested but is just playing coy. If you're determined, I wouldn't give up hope just yet. Then again, you could always take infamous LS advice of ignoring her and treating her like **** until shes begging for you to take her phone #......
__________________ "My life is my argument" - Albert Schweitzer
well, see what she says next week, which would only leave one week left. ask her if she has any idea of what she wants to doo and what day.
if that is shot down, or has something already planned that she had forgotten about...then forget about it, and tell her you will shoot cream in her eye if you ever get it on your fish tacos! .
__________________ Glitter: The herpes of craft supplies.
~Demitri Martin
I'd not ask her again. She'll know for sure that you like her, just as she knows that the other 99% of the guys in the bar are after her and if she keeps things casual it's because she's not interested. If she had been interested she would have looked at you and given you a warm smile. If she changes her mind later and wants to go out with you, she'll know where you are. Or ask her again when she gives you hints that she is more receptive to the idea of a date now. If you pursue her now, you will look desperate.
Hmm, on the other hand, there's probably a lot of competition going on for her now that she's single...
If she had been interested she would have looked at you and given you a warm smile.
Well she wasn't cold about it. Leaning in, eye contact, big smile.. Her body language was all there but I didn't get the verbal response I was hoping for.
How about staying cool and giving her mysterious glances? I'm not kidding. If she's hot, she's used that guys get nervous and ask her out all the time. You could still let her know that you find her hot, just by looking and smiling at her. Build up some tension through your body language.
Getting past the customer mentality isn't easy.. I did it with a girl in Applebees once.. It took going in at odd times that I knew she would not be busy and after a while she would sit in the booth I was in to take my order..
I continued and let out some off my humor and charm and bingo.. I was getting laid.
It took about 3 months and $600 to get her to go out.. It lasted about 3 weeks..She was a nut..Go figure.. She was working at Appleebees
It is tough because they are at work and turn guys down ALL day long .. somedays hundreds of times..
How about staying cool and giving her mysterious glances? I'm not kidding. If she's hot, she's used that guys get nervous and ask her out all the time. You could still let her know that you find her hot, just by looking and smiling at her. Build up some tension through your body language.
Yeah, I've been trying to not come off as just another guy hitting on her. Up until I knew she ditched her bf I would just play it cool. I paid more attention to the TV's in the bar than to her. But a lot of times I would catch her looking at me so I'd look at her, hold eye contact and sort of grin but not like this --> and then she'd smile and look away. Then I'd go back to watching TV.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Art_Critic
Getting past the customer mentality isn't easy..
Yeah, that's another thing is that she is, of course, pretty busy so when I talk to her I have to keep it short and sweet.
Tan, women like her would leave no room for doubt if she was interested. You said she is friendly with everyone so she was just playing along with your scenario. She doesn't want to be mean because you are a good customer so she did the nice rejection. It really is hard when they are hot and nice. You can jump to all sorts of conclusions ( and you want to believe she wants you too ). If you really want to know just ask her next time if she would like at go to dinner sometime. If she hem haws around and feels uncomfortable you have your answer.
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Was this a rejection or not?
You've had a crush on HCB for a while. I think that was a nice version of a rejection. I wish I could say otherwise and I've been known to be wrong on PLENTY of occasions so maybe someone else will have something more positive to say.
Also your game here was cute. 
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