[basscatcher]

I have seen a few threads around about how long it takes to heal, how long before you date again. etc, etc.

I have a suggestion to those of you looking to find your own answer.

Here is a small book I would highly recommend to anyone who has had heartbreak in any form.

It is called: "How to Mend a Broken Heart", by Dick Innes..
It is kind of a hard book to find but it was the best book I have ever read concerning my heartbreaks.

I was with my exh for 11 1/2 years and I walked out,
2 months later I started to date a man I had known for years and I was with him for 4 1/2 years and I walked out on that relationship too,
then 2 months later I started to date a man I met from college and we dated for 1 1/2 years and I walked out again,
2 months later I met another man and it only lasted 6 months and he walked out
The last man is where I was totally devasted. I gave my whole heart, mind, body and almost soul to him. I was so lost and devasted when he walked, I had never been treated so good in my life and never have I felt so at peace. I didnt have to deal with drugs, alcohol, mental, emotional, or physical abuse. He was the best but he lied to me..

I didn't know how to deal with it all so I started to search for help. I knew I couldnt heal alone. I prayed hard and searched desperately and I came across this book. It was and still is the best I've ever read.

Healing is about you and how you know how to heal. Most of us do not know how so we hold on and hold on and hold on and hold on.

Check this book out. You will be very glad you did.

[Art_Critic]

I'm beginning to see a pattern developing..

Getting under someone to get over someone is the way I do it best..

[basscatcher]

Originally Posted by Art_Critic

I'm beginning to see a pattern developing..

Getting under someone to get over someone is the way I do it best..

Pattern?? 2 months time between pattern.. I think when you are the person who walks its a little easier to heal. I walked because of abuse.. The last one was not abusive, I wasn't acustomed too how it ended.. I needed help in that one.

And getting under someone??? Or on top of someone???

[Art_Critic]

Originally Posted by padameckla

I think when you are the person who walks its a little easier to heal.

Agreed .....

[helena abadi]

the person who does the leaving, is already emotionally disconnected and ready to go. the person who is dumped still has the emotional connection, so usually gets hurts the most. padameckla, sorry to hear of your heartbreak. you said the 6-month relationship was not abusive. but he lied. lying is abuse, isn't it?

i will check out the book. it sounds good.

[basscatcher]

Originally Posted by helena abadi

you said the 6-month relationship was not abusive. but he lied. lying is abuse, isn't it?

i will check out the book. it sounds good.

Yes, lying is abuse. Only I didn't know he was lying until the end. I was totally blind-sided. I will cherish my experience with him because that was the first time in my life that I ever really felt cherished, respected and loved. I can't deny what I felt and experienced before his lies were revealed to me.
Because of the sweetness of my time with him; I will accept no less treatment from a man then what he gave me. I may play with a man but I wont stay with the man if he doesnt treat me well.

The book is excellent. It was a true wakeup call for me and I used the lessons in it to heal some past hurts I know I supressed.