[mopar crazy]

I went and applied for a second job today. Since H's job doesn't pay ***** I went and applied for a second job. I will work my FT job and then a 20-30 hour a week job also. H said he will take care of the kids, do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, help w/ homework but I doubt that very much! He doesn't do ***** now, why would he start? And I wont be home to know if he is doing it or not so I will come home to a dirty house, dirty dishes, dirty clothes. I will probably be up until midnight cleaning and be up by 6 am to get ready for my 1st job. I wont be able to see the kids b/c they will be in bed by the time I get home. My mom is PI$$ED off! When I told her I applied for a second PT job she asked me why and why isn't H looking for a PT when he said he would do it when he quit his other job to go to this ***** paying job. She said I need to be home w/ the kids, kids need their mom. When I got home from applying my son asked me why I worked late and I told him I didn't, I applied for another job. He said "THANKS DAD! Now mom will never be home! I will miss my daughter's games now b/c her games are in the evenings or Saturdays. I can't expect them to give me all the game nights off. I HATE THIS! I don't want to get a second job. I am going to miss my kids so much. They are only little once in their life. Yea, H wouldn't be around them as much either if he got a second job but he was the one that offered to get a second job since he was taking this low paying job. I don't feel I should be forced into a second job but I don't have a choice in the matter.
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It's going to hard but I guess I have to accept the fact that since we can't survive on my one job and H's one job I will have to get a second job.

[suegail]

I'm sorry to hear you have to do that and I can only imagine your frustration. I've known several women with husbands who either refuse to take a higher paying job or just don't seem motivated to get a job at all, and these women work day and night to keep a family going. I was talking with one older lady who said her ex husband got laid off work and she was working two jobs to keep the bills paid and food on the table for them and the kids, and one day while cleaning the house (he didn't do that either apparently) she found a letter telling him to report back to work - but it was dated two months prior, and he sat there with no excuse for why he never went back to work. She did decide to leave him. I'm not advocating that in your case, (I hope you know) but it would be nice if someone could get it through your husbands head that YOU should not be the one who has to work an extra job.

I hope things get better for you....

[Mz. Pixie]

This situation is just really bothering me. I was thinking about this yesterday and reminded of my best friend and her husband. She's deceased now but when she was alive he worked overtime and side jobs to keep her at home with their son. That was their priority. They sacrificed and sometimes couldn't even eat out on the 99 cent menu. If they needed tires for their car or something like that, he'd take a second job to earn that money.

Your H has his priorities messed up. Your mom is right, your kids need their mom at home.

Why did he quit his original higher paying job?? If it was because it wasn't what was making him happy tell him welcome to the real world. Very rarely does someone do what they love. My husband does, he's a teacher, but he also works a second job to supplement our income.

You shouldn't have to sacrifice extra time with your kids just for his to sit on his ass. He either needs to get another higher paying job, or a part time job- because as I stated before, you have another job already- taking care of the house and the kids.

If he can't get another job then you guys need to downsize if possible. Perhaps get a smaller home or get rid of one car? I know you feel like you're already sacrificing and I get this, but your kids and your marriage need to be the priority now. You've got a huge fire burning and it needs to be put out now.

I would refuse to do it. He is refusing to so why can't you?? Then I would tell him this was a deal breaker in our marriage. I would seriously think about packing his bags if he wasn't willing to make some corrections. He's using this issue to control you- and I just would refuse to let him control me that way.

[hotgurl]

mopar,
Are you a para education or a teacher? I thought you worked at a pre-school. Because if you are a para if you got your cert it would increase your income greatly.