My girlfriend recently told me that she met a guy and they talked for a while exchanged numbers and hugged. She also told me that the next day he went to go visit her at work and they had a 45 min conversation.

I was enraged that she would even risk our 16 month relationship like that, so i dumped her. Which was probably the biggest mistake of my life. I miss her so much it is sick and i want her back. But i am still SO angry that she would get involved with another guy like that. PLEASE HELP. We havent talked in 10 days and I am miserable. Should i call her? What should i say? Please help - only e-mail responses please...i REALLY value your advice

well first of all she shouldn't be hugging on another guy and exchanging numbers....yeah she can be friends with this guy, but why should she be hugging on him...but i don't think you should sit and be miserable because you can't help what you did...it hurt you and the only solution you had was to break it off..but if she loves you and wants you back too then you both need to sit and have a conversation about the relationship....if she doesn't want you then you really need to leave her be....that is the best thing........

My girlfriend recently told me that she met a guy and they talked for a while exchanged numbers and hugged. She also told me that the next day he went to go visit her at work and they had a 45 min conversation. I was enraged that she would even risk our 16 month relationship like that, so i dumped her. Which was probably the biggest mistake of my life. I miss her so much it is sick and i want her back. But i am still SO angry that she would get involved with another guy like that. PLEASE HELP. We havent talked in 10 days and I am miserable. Should i call her? What should i say? Please help - only e-mail responses please...i REALLY value your advice

I'm with Nikki on this one. Your response was understandable. You don't hand out your number to other guys, hug them, and get visits from them at work when you're seriously involved with someone else. That's one step away from dating - it's flirting with the opportunity for more at best. And if you call her, she's going to get the message that she can do things like that, you'll get mad, and then you'll forgive her and she won't really have to pay any price.

Having said that, if you love her and you truly do want to try and salvage things, I'd suggest this. Don't call her - like I said, it sends the wrong message. If she really loves you, she'll call you. If she doesn't, you know she was ready to move on and it's better that you do the same.

But if she does call, tell her that what she did really shakes your trust in her. You love her, and you'd like to try to find out why she did that and see if there's some way to fix it, but she has to know that it's going to take some time and effort for you to trust her again. Things aren't just going to go back to the way they were and all is forgiven. The girl owes an explanation, an apology, and she needs to earn your trust back.

well first of all she shouldn't be hugging on another guy and exchanging numbers....yeah she can be friends with this guy, but why should she be hugging on him...but i don't think you should sit and be miserable because you can't help what you did...it hurt you and the only solution you had was to break it off..but if she loves you and wants you back too then you both need to sit and have a conversation about the relationship....if she doesn't want you then you really need to leave her be....that is the best thing........

As far as you know, she hasn't actually been unfaithful.

If she told you it happened, maybe she didn't realize what a stupid thing it was to do.

If you talk it out, maybe she will understand your concern that her actions will give that other guy the wrong idea, even if she is just trying to be friendly.

If she agrees to not behave like that in the future, you should give her a second chance, IMO.

Good luck!

Katja

well first of all she shouldn't be hugging on another guy and exchanging numbers....yeah she can be friends with this guy, but why should she be hugging on him...but i don't think you should sit and be miserable because you can't help what you did...it hurt you and the only solution you had was to break it off..but if she loves you and wants you back too then you both need to sit and have a conversation about the relationship....if she doesn't want you then you really need to leave her be....that is the best thing........