[SweetConfusion]

I have come to the sad conclusion that I can no longer be just friends with my best female friend. I have told her how I feel about her and at first it seemed hopeful. But unfortunately, she has seemed to entertain the thought of us being together and didn't go for it. She has moved on I guess. She told me that she knows for a fact that I could make her the happiest woman alive. Apparently that is not enough. But she still wants to remain friends. God, I love her and I want her to be a part of my life, but the thought of her being with someone else literally hurts me inside. The only other choice I have is to end a friendship that I truly cherish.

My question is how do I do such a thing? I don't know how to go about it. It is kind of inconceivable to think about. Should I worry about her feelings? Do it face to face or through a letter. Just confused. Any input would be greatly appreciated

[johan]

Not sure why you have to "end it" at all. Just do other things with other people. Breaking up seems like a silly concept when it comes to friendships. If she wonders what your problem is just tell her you've completely lost interest in just hanging out with her and you can't pretend to be her friend anymore.

[Frustrated 38]

Man, do I know exactly where you are coming from. I just had the exact same thing happen to me. I wrote her a letter telling her how I feel. She told me she just wants to be friends. She used to call me everyday and now she hasn't all this week. It also sucks because she likes my best friend which hurts everytime I see them together. I would recommend trying to work out the friendship but don't make it apparent that you like her. I made it apparent and it had horrible results. You're best bet is to just be her friend and over time she may like you. Good luck man I feel for you. Read my whole story a few threads down under "Friend" confusion. Give me some advice. Thanks man.

[whichwayisup]

Once you emotionally detach from her and focus less on her it will get easier.

I don't think you need to end the friendship, but you do need to tell her that you two can't spend the same amount of time together. GO out more with more people around and stay away from one on one situations like movies, dinners, renting a movie etc...

[blue16]

Originally Posted by Frustrated 38

I would recommend trying to work out the friendship but don't make it apparent that you like her. You're best bet is to just be her friend and over time she may like you.

Noooooo...do NOT do that! You have feelings for her, you want to be with her much more than on a friends level. Do not be her 'friend' under the false pretense of actually wanting a relationship. No offense, but I don't see how one can be a true friend to one another when they are secretly hoping/plotting for something much more.

The old routine of being a girls friend, and hoping that one day down the road she might like you is torture. You may enjoy her company, you like talking with her...but what happens when she mentions her boyfriend? What happens when you see her in the arms of another guy? How will you feel then?

A couple years ago I tried to become acquaintences with a girl who I used to share something more worth. I wanted to start a 'friendship' or whatever under the pretense of eventually getting something more. This girl was single for this duration of 2-3 months. Then out of the blue I hear her casually mention to one of her friends something about her 'boyfriend' and man that was a huge heartbreak. That was probably one of the worst feelings in my life ...don't do what I did! If I didn't stick around as a 'friend' under false pretenses I wouldn't of had to go through that.

You already voiced your opinions to her, and you got your answer. I pretty much agree with your initial decision that you should end the friendship, but I wouldn't do it in such a dramatic fashion. Theres no need to do a big ceremony breakup over a friendship, that will just make her feel bad. Just become less available to her, meet OTHER girls, don't hang around her as much and slowly but surely you ween yourself off her. If she asks why you aren't at her beck and call anymore...just say you're busy and have things to do (which you should!)

I hope you make the right decision.