[chocolate_boy]

For those that read my original thread in breaking up.. basically i was with a girl for 8 months, we recently just split, she broke it off.. i cried and asked her back, she came back, then split again.... i was ok and acted tough and accepted it.. then she asked me back again, i agreed then she wanted to break it off via sms two days later... at this point i got mad and said some mean things to her back (via sms)... We haven't spoke for two weeks, now i just want to meet up and sort things but she's ignoring me...

This is how I'm feeling.. watch the process as I heal (I hope!)...

Day 1

Went to work this morning feeling ok, spent lots of time looking at the loveshack website…… thought I was feeling ok.. had a walk into city centre feeling quite positive and trying to smile… Kept looking at cars and thinking I saw her

Met a friend, but felt really sad…. And had to force conversation.. all I want to do is go home and cry

Came back home, tried to watch comedy dvds but I miss her like crazy… I feel sick in my stomach… I feel tired.. and im so hurt that she is doing this to me. I know I made some mistakes, but I love her… if someone really loves you, never throw them away…

We had a good relationship and never had any real problems..

I feel scared that I might not find anyone else like her…the good sides of her.. she made me feel happy, I didn’t feel lonely.. I felt needed and proud of her.

Now I feel alone, scared and so hurt that the one person who could fix everything is being so nasty to me.. I can’t go through this again.. how will I ever trust anyone this time?

I just want to see her so I can explain how much I love her and would always make her happy.. why oh why has she done this to us?

Realised i'm not going to do any favors by sms texting her... i have left the door open for her and she knows i want to try and just meet to explain and understand her feelings... but she's ignoring me... so i delete her phone number from my mobile... it will help...

Got into bed at 4pm, looked at photos of her and us.. read a card she wrote me in august telling me how much she loved me and wanted to spend forever with me.. felt devistated.



Bitch