[Argentina]

I have recently separated from my third husband due to him abusing me (see my post "Can an Abuser Reform?"
At the moment my husband swings back and forth from accepting responsibility for his abuse to blaming me for causing it in the first place. We have been together 6 years. During the first 3 years of our relationship I said and did some things that he says he cannot get over and this keeps him in a perpetual state of anger towards me. The sort of things I did relate to me being over-critical of him, nit-picking, complaining about things. Not being considerate of his need to sleep when he had come off a night shift at work, not having a cup of coffee ready for him when he came home. Having a go at him when he crashed our car in an accident that he was at fault. One of the worst things was the time we were moving overseas. There were legal issues relating to selling a property and I just wanted to get travelling so I could be with my family for my mother's 60th birthday. In a moment of frustration at the whole situation I suggested that maybe our daughter and I should just go on ahead and he can come later when all the house stuff was sorted out. He was very insulted by this and consequently has never forgiven me and reminds me what a dreadful thing it was for me to say to him. This event took place 4 years ago and he still brings it up now. I have tried really hard to make amends for all this. I have been to counselling both individually and with him to discuss these issues. I have apologised and I have made a big effort to consider his needs and not be so critical. Both he and I agree that there has been a big improvement. However, for the past three years he has been abusive towards me. Basically I am getting the message that I made him so angry at what I did that I have turned him into an abuser. He was never abusive to previous partners.
Now he is saying that he can't see how he is going to get over all this past stuff I did and said to him, so maybe divorce is the only option. This is my third marriage. My first was when I was very young and we both grew apart. It was quite amicable. The second was with a man that also had abusive tendencies, was extremely depressed and talked about suicide all the time. He left me because I was "such a bitch to him", over-critical etc. I had another long-term relationship after this and we went out separate ways because we both wanted different things. I don't think I treated him any differently to how I have treated anyone else and he loved and accepted me the way I was and we are still friends today. Now I find myself back in the position of another marriage break-up. My mother is supportive, but I know my Dad and my Sister will just be thinking this was all my doing. Just hopeless in relationships etc. I can't bear the thought of going through all the legal and financial stuff for the third time! The house I am living in I have bought 3 times already, having to remortgage each time to pay-out the ex-husbands. I love this home and my lifestyle. I run a part-time business from home. My children are settled in the community and school. I guess I just don't want to do that whole divorce thing all over again. Maybe I should just accept him back and take his abuse as punishment for all my wrongs. Perhaps that is what I need to accept. At least then I still have my home, my lifestyle, my work and security for my children. My husband and I still have good times in between the abusive times. So it's not all bad. I know my friends think I am completely mad to be thinking like this. I appreciate they care about my well-being. At the moment I feel like a complete freak. I am only in my mid 30's and failing at my third marriage. could make a comedy soapie out of this one!