Hi All. I'm new to this site and came across it during a Google search today. I need help. I really do because I know I'm going to cave...again. I read through so many of your posts and bawled my eyes out because they could have been written by me. No one wants to admit to being involved with a married person, but, at the same time, it's comforting to know that you have support when you're ready to end the destructive (?) pattern. I need to rid myself of him so I can be happy.
To make a long story short. Met MM a little over a year ago, we worked together. Our story is similar to so many that I have read on this site. Felt "destined" to be together and things progressed pretty quickly. His W knew about me, but didn't want to hear that her DH "loved" another woman. A year later, after many promises of him leaving his W, arguments, etc...we're still apart.
Yesterday, after a week with him (he stayed with me), I looked at myself in the mirror and said "No more." He's in another state now (temporarily) and has come to visit twice. His W does not live with him at the moment and he swears that it's almost over but I cannot hold on to that hope anymore.
When he left yesterday, I broke the news to him beforehand and told him I appreciated much of our time together, but that I felt our relationship left a lot to be desired and that I deserved much better. He cried and begged me to change my mind. I gave him a final hug and kiss and closed the door on him as he was blowing me a kiss.
Since then, I've had my cell phone turned off and my home phone off the hook. I turned my cell phone on once today to see if a friend of mine had called, but, in my heart I knew I was really checking to see if he had called. He had. He'd left two long messages for me. I saved them instead of deleting them. Why can't I just hit "delete"?
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