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Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

Old 29th September 2005, 9:40 PM   #1
blue16
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Becoming closer with this 'friend'

So the last couple months or so, me and this girl at work have been flirting a lot. Like everytime we see each other, we talk, flirt, smile...have a good time. And since the start of September, she goes to my school and I bump into her atleast once a week. Personality wise, she's the best girl I've ever met. She is really cute too. Sounds good right?

The only problem is that she is overweight. She has lots of friends, everyone adores her but the fact that she is overweight is a turnoff for me...and for that reason I can't be in a bf/gf relationship with her. Call me shallow or whatever...but that's just the way it is for me unfortunately nothing can change the way I feel on that subject.

I find myself becoming emotionally attached to her, and this is a problem because I can't be in a relationship with her...but at the same time I think I have some feelings for her. I'll also say that I'm almost positive she does like me...other than the fact that we have been flirting constantly the last while she got really jealous when she heard I said some girl was hot. I really enjoy being around her, but I know I shouldn't do the friends things with girls because then I'll get even more attached. I was about to ask for her number, but I hesitated because I don't want to lead her on (or lead myself on for that matter.) Is the only thing to do is just continue being acquaintences with her and hopefully these 'feelings' or whatever you want to call them will die down?
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Old 30th September 2005, 12:05 AM   #2
Jayhawks
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Quote:
other than the fact that we have been flirting constantly the last while she got really jealous when she heard I said some girl was hot
.

A definite sign that a women likes you, Blue. It is a problem when you like them but their is something that keeps you from going to that next level. I would say it is not fair to her because of her feelings for you to lead her on. You like her company but she probably wants more from you. A tough situation.
To be fair to her I would slowly back away from her. She needs to be free to pursue guys that have that interest in her. If she thinks you might feel something romantic for her she will hang around. Then she will get mad at you when she realizes you are not going to return her feelings and things could get ugly. Become an acquaintance rather than a good friend. It will allow your feelings to subside and hers also. Don't do the avoidance thing on her. Just become less close over time. It really sucks, I know.
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Old 30th September 2005, 12:15 PM   #3
elijahBailey
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hey Blue, I hear you man. Just make sure your real head does the thinking, otherwise this one's gonna end in a heartbreak. Go slow and see if the feelings develop, if not, it just ain't worth it. It's gonna be pretty tricky because, at whatever rate you ride it, she's probably gonna get more and more emotionally attached to you. It's your call dude.
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Old 4th October 2005, 2:04 AM   #4
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cool thx for your responses. I don't seem to be bumping into her that much at school anymore, so I'm only seeing her once a week at work. I do miss her, but I find that since I run into her once a week it keeps things really casual and I don't think about her that much. So what I'm trying to say is that I've decided to keep being acquaintences and leave it at that. I'll continue the flirting and good fun, but I won't mention any other girls or anything because I know that'll upset her.

Last edited by blue16; 4th October 2005 at 2:07 AM..
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