Hi all. Here is where I'm at. I'm engaged, and I love my fiance very much. He's a wonderful guy and I am excited to share the rest of my life with him. My problem is that recently, I've developed an intense attraction to a mutual friend. I've known this mutual friend for a few years, and have always been somewhat attracted to him, but recently it's gotten extreme. I think it's a link to finding out that he's attracted to me as well. Once our sexual tension got so intense that I had to jump up and literally run away before we got carried away. I'm so confused. I love my fiance very much, and I'm sure he's the one I want to grow old with. Why the he!! am I feeling this way whenever I'm around this other guy???

[Firebird]

It's surprising that you and the mutual friend never hooked up. I understand what your going through it's normal for you to be attracted to other men your not blind but do you think maybe just because you know now that he is attracted to you too you interested?? It's very tempting isn't!! It might just be cold feet or are you a better match with your friend?

[Leid]

Sexual feelings are surprising things.. they pop up when they least expect to. I don't see the crime in having feelings for someone. But in your situation, you may want to be carefuel. Sometimes engaged or married people are more attractive than others, or could be -- dare I say -- you're started to get cold feet..and all of a sudden your friend looks appealing. If you're sure you want to marry this guy, try not to put yourself in any compromising situations w/ your buddy and let him know you're in love and won't ever go there w/ him. I'm sure he's feeling the sexual tension and if he felt the same way you did at that moment, you've now become a challenge.... not a good thing.

Thanks soo much for your advice. It's nice to hear that I'm not crazy or evil. Firebird--We did get pretty close to kissing, which is when I just jumped up off the couch and ran for it!

I read an article the other day about the two different types of husbands, the ones who are dependable for everything but not to much mystery. And then the ones who are passionate about everything, but not always dependable. I think my fiance is of the first type, and I'm missing the excitement of the unknown. I love him very much, but I don't get goosebumps anymore when he walks into the room. I get the goosebumps with the mutual friend, but wouldn't want to actually be with him, goosebumps don't mean good realtionship.

Life is so confusing.

[Firebird]

I think were in the same boat but my goosebumps are coming from a co-worker and it's hard because I find myself thinking about the guy alot and it's worried me but we have to look at the big picture before I even met this new guy I wasn't confused about what I wanted to do and as soon as I found out that this guy was interested in me I started to get so confused but I've made up my mind I am truely still in love with my fiance but no he doesn't give me goosebumps when he walks in the room and it's ok. I was feeling really bad about all this for a while I even thought to myself what if I had sex with my co-worker just to get out of my system but I don't think I could live with myself or can I?? It's hard and to make this even more hard my wedding is 2 weeks away.